Banished in Time
by Alzu
Summary: Dovahkiin has found herself thrown back in time, lost and unsure of how it happens, she has a suspicion that perhaps it has something to do with her betrayal of Hermaeus Mora. Can she find her way back? Or will she be stuck searching for the one she betrayed Hermaeus for
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

A distant drip could be heard, echoing around me. I couldn't see anything, nor could I feel myself, I tried to remember what had happened last but nothing came, only a dull pain in the back of my head. My consciousness drifting in darkness, I heard a voice, muffled, far. Who was it? I tried to call out but couldn't. All I had were my thoughts. Then I heard a more distinct voice, _his_ voice.

 _Dovahkiin, wake up._

I opened my eyes and saw a bright window up in the distance, I blinked away the haze from my eyes and as everything became clear I began to feel anxious. Where was I? I could see a strange cobblestone wall and a wooden table, with it, a stranger's silhouette. Then I another heard a voice, becoming clearer with each word.

"...No matter what the law says, no matter what they told you. Your going to die in here. You're going to-" I didn't let the voice continue, I cut in sharply.

"Would you shut your face, jeez. Your annoying." I said as I pulled myself up to sit. I could feel a dull pain in my head still, I seemed to have startled the stranger at the table. I couldn't see their face that well but this stranger addressed me.

"Where did you come from?" She stood up but didn't make any move to come closer or back away. She was being cautious.

"If I knew that I wouldn't be here... Where ever _here_ is..." I didn't bother peeling myself from the floor, the guy in the other cell started shouting nonsense again. Ugh, it hadn't even been five minutes and this guy was giving me a headache.

"If you don't shut up, I swear, I will break my way out of here, go over there, and shut it for you!" I pinched the bridge of my nose and that's when I heard the other voices.

"My sons... They're dead aren't they..."

"We don't know that Sire. The messenger only said they were attacked."

I stood up and looked out at the source and soon saw armed guards coming closer along with someone else behind them. I looked behind me to the stranger who shared this cell. She looked just as confused, suddenly I heard one of the guards yell fiercely.

"Who put these prisoners here, this cell is supposed to be off limits!" She huffed and spoke again, more collected, "Stand back prisoners, or we wont hesitate to kill you." She threatened. I quickly back away with my cell mate, both standing up against the wall.

"You... I've seen you..." The person behind the guards was the emperor, and he seemed to recognize my cell mate. I was confused, not just by this random occurrence but this emperor. This wasn't Titus Mede II, and yet they still held the title of emperor. Who were they? They seemed to know my cell mate from a dream. Because that's not weird...

"What's going on?" I asked. He looked over at me confused.

"You, I've not seen you, yet I sense something in you. You have the dragon blood coursing though your veins."

"Yeah, I get that a lot being dovakiin and all. Uhmm... Sire?" I was being disrespectful talking so casually but I wanted answers. The emperor furrowed his eyebrows, the guards told the emperor there was no time to waste, they needed to keep moving. The very wall moved out of their way and I couldn't help but be a little impressed. Wasn't this lucky, I looked back over at the prisoner at the cell across from me and gave him a smug smile before leaving with everyone. I couldn't get a good look at what the other prisoners face was like but I hoped he was seething. Serves that annoying bastard right.

There was a point when a strange robed enemy appeared and attacked, killing one of the emperors guards, not long after the remaining guard cut me off from following, I was slightly annoyed but found another tunnel, I decided to try my luck and go that way with my cell mate who had also been left behind. We ran into a few rats, some goblins, and a zombie... Strange, I had never seen goblins in Skyrim before...We soon caught up to the emperor and his guard, I decided to keep to the shadows as I followed them, the dunmer did the same but she was not a very good sneaker.

"Dammit, it's those prisoners again! They might be working with the assassins!"

"No, they're not. They could help us."

"Whoah whoah, you might be emperor but you can't just volunteer me to do your bidding. No offense." I was then nudged hard by my cell mate, who I could now identify as mer. She glared at me with such intensity, if looks could kill I'd have died a thousands deaths in a single second as she walked past me towards the emperor. It was still too dark to really tell much about her.

"You would so well to watch your tongue!" The guard warned me. I suppose I should behave better for now, it wouldn't be ideal to be left behind again.

"Please, come closer." The emperor addressed me. I came over to him, all others' watched me wearily.

"Earlier you said your name was, Dovahkiin."

"No that's not my name, my name is Astra. Astra the Dragonborn. Dovakiin for short." I crossed my arms, this seemed to shock the guards and the emperor. Although the guards quickly replaced their surprise with skepticism. I continued. "Honestly, I thought everyone in Skyrim knew this already." I tried not to sound smug but I'm sure that's exactly what it sounded like when the dunmer spoke.

"This isn't Skyrim, this is Cyrodiil." Now it was my turn to exchange a look of skepticism. Only with how this catacomb was looking, I was beginning to think she may be right.

"Who told you that you are dragonborn." The guard asked wearily.

"I was in Helgen, and a dragon named Alduin attacked-" Before I could even finish my sentence the guard cut me off again.

"Dragon? There haven't been dragons for thousands of years. Sire this woman is clearly ill. We should keep moving." With that everyone began to go again. I simply shrugged off their insult and followed. They were now all weary of me.

Another robed assassin attacked, I wasn't armed and without really thinking I used my thu'um when one of them knocked me down and brought a mace down on me.

"Yol!" a flame came forth and burned the perpetrator badly. Siring they're clothes and face into ashes. I quickly pushed their burned body off of me and stood up, alert. I noticed there was another slain body on the floor.

"What was that?" said my cell mate, I still couldn't see her very well but judging from the accent, she must have been a dunmer.

"You know, not to sound smug but, I told you earlier before you all called me _ill_." Everyone only stared at me befuddled. A look of realization hit the emperor. I shrugged it off and moved forward, until we hit a dead end. Everyone panicked and more assassins came out from every corner it seemed. The emperor called to both my cell mate and I. I went over and he first addressed the dunmer woman, explaining to her of his unavoidable death and to take his Amulet, he then quickly turned to me and spoke.

"I do not know where you came from, but I see you are lost. Stay with her, and help her close shut, the jaws of Oblivion." Just as he finished an assassin came from a portal and cut him down where he stood. This shocked the dunmer woman and she hesitated, I on the other hand acted quickly and used my Thu'um once more. I watched him turn into ash, his last words.

"Paradise awaits me..." from the pain the assassin sounded like these words were meant to assure himself that his death was not the end. Pitiful really.

Then the last standing guard came to see what happened. The dunmer woman quickly explained what happened, she was still in shock, I watched her with a strange sense of nostalgia, I feel like, I had seen her somewhere before, but I couldn't quick put my finger on it. I don't think I've ever met her before, but her face... Why was it so familiar?

I was quickly brought out of my thoughts as this guard, Baurus, introduced himself to me. He also mentioned he was a blade. He then began with his questions.

"That shout, are you really dragonborn?" He looked less doubtful this time around.

"Yes... You say your a blade? I've met one of you once, they invited me to join them at Sky Haven Temple. Didn't much care for your little group, we had a bit of a disagreement, so I left. I suppose I will help this lass find this Jauffre he spoke of, but after that I will go my own way."

"Fair enough. I'll take care of things here, just take the sewers and you'll find the way out." He handed the dunmer a key. "It was supposed to be secret but..." He trailed off as his eyes met the emperors corpse.

I looked away awkwardly, I was never good with death so I left the room promptly, waiting for the dunmer woman to come. I listened to their muffled voices exchange incoherent words. More information of where to find the Jauffre I assumed. She seemed to be in shock still, I chose not to say anything and just followed her through the sewers, disposing of the rats and goblins that littered the place. We came upon the exit fairly quickly and once we were greeted by the midday sun I was able to take in her features much more clearly. Her face was still familiar but I couldn't understand why.

"I never got your name." I said quietly, maybe a name could help me figure out who she was.

"...Ilazki." She looked over at me as she introduced herself. Ilazki? Her name was strange, memorable too, yet I didn't recognize her.

"That's an unusual name for a Dunmer." I nodded to her awkwardly as she shot me a harsh look of disdain. I brought my attention to the task at hand, honestly I wanted no part in this little mission for the emperor, I didn't take orders from anyone. Not anymore.

 **A/N:** I got this random idea and decided to roll with it and see where it takes me. Hope you like it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Ilazki began to walk to what I assumed would be in the direction of Weynon Priory. She didn't once look back to check if I was following.

"Aren't you going to ask me what my name is?" I called to her, she looked back with disinterest as she responded.

"I have no interest in getting to know you, nord." she continued on her way and I could feel my face warm with offense. Tck, see if I care you stupid mer. With that I decided to walk in another direction, I suppose I could to familiarize myself with Cyrodiil for a bit. I need a weapon and armor... Then as luck would have it I noticed a bandit camp site, there seemed to be only one, a khajit. Easy. I quietly crept over and searched the camp as the khajit sat sharpening a weapon in silence. I found an iron dagger next to a sack set up not too far behind him. I smiled to myself, if I could use the dagger and kill him and take his supplies, seemed easy enough.

As I approached the khajiit I delicately picked up the dagger and then swiftly plunged it into the unsuspecting fool's neck, I twisted the blade and could hear the bandit choking on his own blood as he tried gasping for air. I took the sword he was sharpening and searched him for any other weapons as he struggled to fight death's grasp. As I began filling a sack with what supplies he had he grabbed my foot, I was actually a bit amused by this and gave him a small smile.

"It's cute that you think your going to live." I said before kicking him off and finishing him off with the sword. The blade glided deep into his chest with ease. I marveled for a moment at how sharp he got the blade. I looked down at his dead body.

"Not bad, you should be proud of your work." I said before pulling the sword from his now lifeless body. I quickly wiped the blood away from the blade before any of the blood dried. The last thing I needed was a rusted blade. I went back to filling the sack with necessities. I noticed a wooden bow and quiver laid against his bedroll. I decided to take that as well and went on my way. I had considered taking his armor but decided against it. Wearing blood stained armor wasn't the best way to be inconspicuous. Instead I changed into a what I found, a linen shirt, black breeches, and his leather boots.

After a bit I continued on my way, I noticed an odd smog in the distance, I decided to follow it and investigate. Every hour the smog became darker, the smell of burning flesh reached my nostrils. I wondered if a dragon had attacked a city. I started running, making my way quickly to what I could now see was a city in flames. People were fleeing, screaming for their lives. I couldn't help but remember my first encounter with Alduin in Helgen. Fire had consumed everything, I remember how bodies scattered about as I had escaped with a Stormcloak. I could vividly remember Alduin's distant roar thrundering from the skies as he flew by burning everything. Once I reached the city, I was not met with a dragon. Instead I saw Daedra, attacking civilians, they were flooding out from a portal, a gate to Oblivion. Well, Several actually. I went towards the broken city, trying to see what I could do to help. I noticed a child was cornered by a Dremora, I quickly intercepted.

"You dare fight me mortal!" The Dremora slashed at me, but I quickly blocked him.

"Tell me, what's with the party?" I said after I pushed the daedra away. This brought fury to the creature, causing another attack. I blocked again. I was a bit annoyed and decided to be a bit more persuasive, I could feel the dragon soul inside me begin to stir.

"Gol Hah Dov!" I watched as the dremora bent to my will, and I asked again, "Why are there daedra here."

"We were summoned by the followers of Dagon. We will have what is ours." The Dremora looked at me with anger as it realized it had no control. I nodded letting the information sink in a moment.

"Thank you." And with that I swiftly ended its life by plunging my sword into its chest. The whimpering behind me reminded me of the child behind me. I knelt down checked on his well being, the child seemed to be uninjured, just scared and full of soot. As I rose up the child clung to me, crying. I looked around to see that by now most of the civilians were out of sight, those that were were either dying or corpses. I noticed some lesser daedra closing in on me, stalking me like I was some sort of prey. I smiled amused for a moment before I felt the child grip intensify on me, I suppose I should get this kid out of harms way first. I picked up the kid.

"Tiid Klo." The shout caused time to slow to a halt before I quickly ran off, using the shouts so frequently had began to take it's effects on me. I noticed as time began to restart again not that long after. I made a decision and made my way to the Chapel, as I neared the door time was back in focus once more and I hurriedly opened the door and entered with the child in my hands. I let myself lean against a pillar inside to catch my breath, I let the kid slip out of my hands.

"So you gotta name?" I asked, I was finally able to see his face, he was a young altmer.

"... Corrinar."

"Do you know where your parents are?" I asked cautiously, I was hoping for any kind of optimism, but the distant look and tears that filled his eyes were answer enough. I tore my gaze away and sighed inwardly, I had a feeling. But now I got this kid emotional. "I'm sorry..." I wasn't even sure what I was apologizing for, his loss or the hurt I caused. Soon after I noticed the doors to the chapel open again, a priest and a few more survivors filled the room. Most of them were injured, I began to feel uncomfortable. This was looking more and more dire by the moment. I couldn't just stand around and do nothing. Then a loud explosion was heard and the walls shook, part of the roof collapsed from the chapel and landed on a nearby building. I took in a sharp breath of surprise. Others in the Chapels gasped in horror.

"By the Nine! What was _that!_ " Voices shrieked from across the chapel. Another explosion was heard and I decided I had to do something. I went to the door but the priest stopped me.

"Are you mad, if you leave you will die!"

"Move aside, priest." I began to walk past him again but he was persistent.

"The daedra have overrun the city, we are trapped here. Even if you run to the gate you will die." He scolded.

"I have no plans to run, nor do I plan to die." I smiled amused at him. He was unconvinced and my smile faltered a bit. I cleared my throat awkwardly and simple pushed my way through to the door, ignoring.

I killed daedra left and right as I went through the blazing streets. I came across an odd machine. Daedra surrounding it and using it to destroy the buildings. This must have been what hit the Chapel. I took care of the minor daedra. As I did this a Dremora had successfully caught me off guard and a blade went straight through me. I writhed in pain, the serrated edge of the daedric sword left me feeling like fire had gone straight through me.

"Iiz Slen!" Frost hurled towards the Dremora, freezing its feet to the floor. I slashed at the creature until it no longer stood. That's when I caught sight of something in the distance. Someone in red robes, like the ones from the prison catacombs. I noticed some minor daedra pecking at the corpse, tearing flesh from bone. I averted my eyes and I decided to enter the gate before me, I could only assume this was where the machine came from.

I entered, my vision went white and the first thing I could sense before I could see again was an intense heat. Then the smell of burning flesh met my nostrils as my vision cleared I was met with charred bodies. I followed the path of bodies, picking up a steel sword as I progressed into the firey realm untill I found someone alive, barely. I knelt down beside him, it was an imperial.

"Your alive?!" I looked at the gash in his abdomen. I wasn't the best at restoration spells but I did my best to heal him. He grunted with discomfort as the flesh began to heal till it was only a shallow wound. He sat up, and thanked me.

"What happened here?"

"Daedra, we couldn't stop them. We entered the gate hoping to find a way to close it but couldn't even get passed the first fleet of them. Now they're in the city, tearing everything apart." He looked down regretful. I let the information soak in a moment before responding.

"Well not everyone is dead. There are some survivors in the Chapel of Akatosh. They're safe, for now." I stood up as I continued to speak. "I'm going to go close this gate. You can either take your chances getting back to the city or follow me. Just don't get in the way."

"Your insane!"

"I might be." I agreed casually before leaving. I made my way up the path, death scattered about. I saw a tower connected to another tower far off across a lake of fire and brimstone. I steeled myself before entering the tower. There seemed to be a lacking in daedra, perhaps they were all in the city? That couldn't be... They wouldn't be that stupid. After ascending the tower I came across a Dremora torturing someone in a cage. I drew the sword I had taken and slowly made my way towards them, the screams of agony filling the room with an unsettling chill.

Once I had gotten close to the steps the Dremora looked straight at me from the top of the steps, I could hear a whimpering, begging for death. I didn't wait for the daedra to make it's move and just ran up the steps, charging towards it. I leaped towards it as my foot passed the last step, the dremora blocked me easily and we clashed blades as it spoke.

"Another mortal, when will you filthy creatures learn. Your death awaits you!" I barely dodged his daedric sword, it only barely grazed my cheek, I could feel a warm liquid pour out from it gently. I pushed the dremora away from me, hacking away at the creature but only meeting its blade. I grew frustrated and decided to shout against my better judgment.

"Fus ro Dah!" The daedra flew towards the opposite wall, straight into a jagged spike coming from the wall. The dremora screamed in pain but didn't die, nor could it remove itself from its impalement. I let out a sigh of relief and looked at the person in the cage, it was an Altmer man. He was littered with mars. I picked up the daedric sword from the floor and went over to the cage. I noticed some keys on the floor and picked those up as well. I assumed this was how you'd go about opening the contraption. I quickly opened the cage, looking over wearily at the dremora who was still thrashing to escape. Once the door was open I pulled the whimpering man to his feet, he begged for no me not to hurt him anymore. He must have thought I was the creature.

"Pull yourself together, lets get out of here before you cry a river." I said uninterested. He looked up a bit surprised and relieved all at once.

"Oh thank the nine! I'm saved! Thank you!" He babbled on, I awkwardly pulled myself away from the blubbering fool.

"Don't get in the way." I warned. He nodded copiously and followed. I looked back at the dremora as it began to speak again.

"You will not leave this place alive mortal."

"I like you. You talk much more than the usual daedra. It's entertaining." I smirked before leaving the displeased dremora.

The rest of the way I found more tortured bodies, no one survived. Once we reached the entrance to the next tower I noticed much of it was broken. I held out my hand to the surviver and instructed him not to look down or I would leave him if he hesitated. He seemed convinced and followed me without any hassle. We reached the other side and the door was half open, and stuck. I took a peak inside. I didn't see and immediate danger and crawled inside, the surviving mer following suit. This tower was filled with more empty halls until we reached some double doors, I quietly opened one of them and peaked inside. This room was filled to the teeth with deadra. My survivor would most likely perish if we entered but something at the top of the room caught my eye. The beam of light that I had seen coming from this tower seemed to be emanating from a stone at the top of this room. These daedra must be guarding that stone for a reason. Perhaps this is what kept the gate stable. If I could remove that stone, perhaps this gate would collapse on itself. I looked over at the terrified altmer.

"Run in with me, retrieve that stone and don't die." I instructed, giving him the daedric sword I had picked up. He looked up terrified before he could protest I dragged him into the room, he quieted and we made our way in quickly, running up the stairs, passing daedra. All eyes were on us as arrows and spells of destruction were hurled at us. I felt an arrow strike my left shoulder. I hissed at the pain but did not dare slow down. I grabbed the stone from it's pedestal and started running again. I could already feel everything collapsing on itself, I lost my balance and fell forward, pulling the Altmer down with me. I closed my eyes as a white light enveloped everything. We landed with a thud and I immediately opened my eyes, expecting to be in danger but found myself in the destroyed city once more. Minor daedra were still about, picking at the corpses. I forced my aching body up and pulled the Altmer into another sprint towards the chapel avoiding daedra when I could, and hacking away at the scamps that hindered my pathway. I opened the door and pulled the tired Altmer inside the chapel with me. Startling everyone.

I let out a ragged breath as I leaned back on the door. Fatigue bating me into a lulled state. I heard whispers and shocked gasps when I came in, then I heard that priest's voice.

"By the Nine!" I looked over at him and he rushed over, helping me to the nearest bench to sit. The linen shirt I had was now a shredded and blood stained mess. Tck.. How embarrassing. "I'm surprised your still conscious considering-"

"I'm fine. Heal this man first. He could use it." I motioned towards the tortured almter, the priest looked over and didn't question me, the almter had more injuries than I did, I slid down the wall to sit down and let myself relax as much as I could while I was in pain. I couldn't hide my fatigue anymore, the noise of everything lulled me. I closed my eyes for a moment, focusing only on breathing.

After some time the priest was back, I opened my eyes as he spoke to me. I didn't hear what he said the first time, nor did I care to listen. He began casting a spell of convalescence. I relaxed as best I could, feeling the flesh knitting together wasn't as pleasant as one would think. Once he had finished healing the gaping hole his attention went to my shoulder and minor injuries. The linen top left what little modesty I had gone, I paid no mind to it. The healing of my shoulder was much more painful. I took in a sharp breath, it felt like it was on fire. He stopped when he noticed the amount of pain I was in and left for a moment. Before I could question where he was going he was back with a bowl of water, the smell of Arrowroot filled my senses. I could already tell this was not going to be fun. As soon as the wet rag made contact with my shoulder, a searing pain shocked it's way through me. I let out a strangled cry as I tried my best to hold in my pain. I heard him apologize as he continued to clean the wound. After what felt like hours he was finally done cleaning and he started healing me once more. This felt much more alleviating compared to the cleaning. All I could feel was a numb pain compared to before. Once he was done I sat up and thanked him. I tied the tattered linen shirt to keep the shirt from exposing so much, by doing this it left my abdomen a bit exposed but I supposed this was better. My healed wounds were still tender but the priest looked so tired. I dared not tell him I was still in pain. I could hear the lesser daedra out there, screeching, prowling for more people.

"I'm a bit surprised you made it back." The priest admitted.

"Me too. What happened to that high elf I brought in?" I asked curiously.

"He is with his son, Corrinar." The priest said with a small smile. I smiled in response, I guess it was a good thing I rescued him.

"Well that's relieving." I said. He looked over solemnly before he took a seat next to me.

"He was lost without his father, but the reunion seems to have brought him some peace of mind. You've save him, twice now." The priest's word resonated in me. I suddenly had a bad taste in my mouth, he was praising me.

"I guess." I quickly pushed these bitter feelings aside.

"You give yourself too little credit." He noted.

I stood up a bit to quickly and winced a bit, I didn't say anything else to the priest and I made my way over to Corrinar, he seemed to be the only child to have survived the siege. As I came closer I noticed he was talking to his father. I over heard the last part of their conversation. It was about me.

"She made time itself yield with just her voice!" He was excited at the last part, I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"Corrinar, I think your exaggerating." He turned to me and a small smile light up his face.

"Don't be modest I was there! I saw what you did to that daedra too!" A few heads turned at his exclamation. "You compelled him, using only words!" I shifted uncomfortably, funny how not long ago I was bragging about being dragonborn and now that someone believed and knew... I'm not sure what to make of this.

"If you say so." I offered a small smile before I asked him my intended question.

"How have you been holding up so far." I could see the smile melt away into a mournful look.

"Everyone I knew is gone. I have no one left... I fear that I will never be happy again." He looked as if e was on the verge of tears. His father held him close as he shuddered a sob.

"You haven't lost everyone. Your father is here. Beisides seemed to be quite happy a moment ago, telling everyone of how you got here." I offered.

"Temporary happiness is not the same..." His father retorted.

"No, but it _is_ a good start. Don't you think?" I hoped they would appeal to my optimism.

"I suppose it is." Corrinar said thoughtfully, he wasn't quite convinced but he seemed less hopeless. I looked over at the alter and stared at the statue of Akatosh for moment. I excused myself and went to the alter, I stared at the statue of Akatosh, the father of dragons.

"Drem yol lok Akatosh..." I looked down, I wondered why did I even come to the alter. I felt stupid now. "Why send me here?" I didn't expect an answer, I was speaking to a statue, but the response I did receive made me jump.

"I see you were able to console Corrinar. That was quite a feat." The priest's voice startled me, but I had refused to react startled.

"I didn't really do much. I simply wanted to know how the boy was doing."

"He mentioned you used your voice to persuade a daedra to tell you something."

"I suppose your here to interrogate me." I huffed, annoyed. "If you don't trust me just say it and I will leave."

"I don't mean to offend-" Before the priest could finish his sentence I cut him off curtly.

"Save it." I looked over at him, I reminded myself what the city has been through and sighed, "Yes, I used a word of power to bend a Dremora's will. I didn't understand what was happening. Who better to explain than one of the attackers."

"I don't understand, how did you bend its will?"

"A gift from Akatosh I suppose." I crossed my arms as I continued. "I don't see why I was chosen, or even sent here for that matter." I mumbled.

"Akatosh sent you here? To Kvatch?" The priest seemed amused, like he was going to laugh any moment now.

"Not here, specifically... It's not something many would understand." I looked back at the alter.

"Then explain as best you can." The priest said kindly.

"What is your name, priest?"

"My name is Martin."

 _Your the greatest Septim that ever lived. Well, except for that Martin fellow. But he turned into a dragon god, now that's hardly sportin'_

"Martin... As in Martin Septim?" I asked confused, was he the one Sheogorath spoke of over tea with Pelagius.

"What? Where would you get an idea like that?"

"Perhaps I am mistaken then... I apologize for the misunderstanding." Sheogorath was a madgod, anything he said was meaningless... Wasn't it?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I awoke sore and still tired, the skies were still dark, I must not have slept very long. I gingerly sat up, looking about the room. Everyone was sleeping but a guard. I got out of the bedroll and made my way to the alter again, staring at the statue of Akatosh again. I let out a sigh, I was going crazy just trying to figure out what was going on. I remembered being in Apocrypha fighting Miraak when... I felt an acute pain in my head. I couldn't seem to remember what had happened after that. I vaguely remember a voice, but I was unsure of what it said.

"You should be resting." I heard Martin's voice say quietly.

"I could say the same about you." I didn't look at him, I continued to stare at alter instead. I looked over at him. "For being a priest you don't seem to pray much to the gods." His expression turned bitter.

"I'm having trouble understanding the gods right now." I nodded in acknowledgment.

"I can see why. When did this all start?"

"A few nights ago. One night when it was quiet there was sudden thundering crack in the sky and an oblivion gate appeared, soon two more appeared, I'm sure you've seen the rest out there." His somber tone brought my attention to him, as I glanced over I met his frustrated gaze. "Everyone has started calling this the Oblivion Crisis." His words struck me with familiarity. Oblivion Crisis? This brought my attention, I had read about the Oblivion Crisis in a book, I also remember the Thalmor mentioning it a few times when I first spoke to them in the Reach. I thought about Sheogoraths words again.

 _I was there for that whole sordid affair._

I shook the thoughts from my head I was being crazy again.

"I keep telling myself it's nonsense, but the more I think about it-" The door suddenly opened. I looked up and noticed the dunmer woman, Ilazki, she was full of blood and soot. She didn't look tired but her look of urgency said she was in a hurry. As I looked at her now I could see the similarities between her and Sheogorath. Martin noticed where my attention went and we both watched as she came over to us.

"Are you Brother Martin?" She asked, she then caught notice of me and sent me a scowl. I rolled my eyes at this.

"I am." Martin caught on to our reactions towards each other but didn't say anything about it.

"You have to come with me." Ilazki said simply, this invoked confusion in Martin's tired features.

"What? Why?"

"The Emperor sent me to retrieve you." Her words rang with familiarity. This _was_ Martin Septim, the one Sheogorath spoke of over tea. I looked over at Martin surprised.

"Then you are Martin Septim." I spoke in disbelief, Martin and Ilazki turned their attention to me.

"What? Your both mistaken." Martin was confused now. This was the second time it had come up. He looked at me as he spoke again, "I've already told you, I'm not this 'Martin Septim' you spoke of. Where did either of you get this idea that I am?"

"Brother Jauffre." Ilazki said simply, she looked over at me expectingly. Martin also followed suit, I shifted uncomfortably.

"It doesn't matter where I heard it because it's true. You are Martin Septim..." My words didn't ease Ilazki but Martin sighed still a bit unconvinced. Ilazki then explained that the city was attacked because someone was trying to kill him. My thoughts went to the body I had seen the night before, the robed corpse, they wore the same robes as the assassins from the catacombs. Suddenly everything pieced together perfectly, except for one thing. Ilazki, she resembled Sheogorath but she seemed so unaware of our encounter in Pelagius' mind. Was I wrong about her? I decided against mentioning it until I was sure about her.

"You must come with me to Weynon Priory." Ilazki spoke to Martin again.

"Whether what you say is true or not, I cannot just leave these people to their fate. We've been through too much for me to just abandon them." Ilazki sighed exasperated.

"Fine." She said as she pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. Before leaving the chapel she turned back to look at Martin. "I will be back shortly. Gather your things for now." and then only the sound of the door was heard before there was silence once again.

"You don't suppose she went out there to close the gates to obivion all by herself do you?" Martin asked me anxiously.

"Knowing her she probably did. From what I've seen she's a stubborn girl, but she is devoted." My words made Martin uneasy. I smiled. "I've seen her fight, she's a valiant warrior, there is non need to worry." I reassured him.

"Where do you know her from?" He asked curiously.

"We were cell mates, actually, that's also how we met the emperor." I said. Martin furrowed his brow in confusion.

"I don't follow?" He looked over to me and I flashed him a smile.

"We were put in the wrong cell I suppose. There was a secret passageway in that cell, the emperor and his Blades came through, trying to escape some robed assassins. The emperor recognized Ilazki, the woman who was just here, from a dream. He trusted her to find you right before he died. He knew it was his end." I looked down at my hands, "I don't know how he was so brave about it... He also could see that I was lost."

"Lost?"

"Yeah..." I turned my gaze to Martin, he looked curious. Maybe he would understand. "It's a bit of an odd story. I haven't yet made sense of it. You might not even believe me."

"I've heard twice today that I am the heir of Uriel Septim, that's unbelievable, yet, I have this strange feeling it might be true."

"... Before I was in the prison cell I remember being in Apocrypha, I had ventured in searching for... I'm not really sure what I was searching for anymore? But I came across someone named Miraak, who was controlling people of Solstheim using these All-maker stones. I had ventured in multiple times after that. Searching for answers, he had called himself the first dragonborn. The more I ventured in, the more I learned of him. Hermaeus Mora had intended for me to kill him. I sabotaged those plans by choosing not to and instead helped Miraak. We were trying to escape together but..." I felt the acute pain in my head again as I tried to remember anything after that. "I can't seem to remember much after that, I remember a voice but it's incoherent. After that I woke up in a cell."

"If he was trying to control people, why did you choose to help him." Martin asked.

"When I saw him last, he showed how desperate he was to leave. I had gotten him to make a deal with me. Although seeing where I am now, I can only wonder what happened to him..."

"Daedric Princes are deceiving and shouldn't be trifled with." Martin sounded like he understood a bit more about daedra than he lead on. I laughed bitterly.

"That's not even the odd part. It's when it happened that seems the oddest... This happened in 4E 201..." I looked away, immediately regretting I had said anything. I was sure he didn't believe me, or perhaps thought I was crazy.

"Well... That is quite the story." He began, I dared look over to him and he didn't seem look at me in disbelief or doubtful.

"It's fine if you don't believe me."

"No, I don't believe you would lie about something about this... I thought you said Akatosh had sent you here? Chose you?"

"Akatosh chose me to be dovahkiin, but he didn't send me here... It seemed more appropriate at the time to say I was sent by a divine rather than a daedric prince. Especially to a priest."

"Well... I haven't always been a priest." He said in a somber tone. I nodded to in acknowledgment, not wanting to press on the matter. I looked down at the ground, our shadows feathering ever so in the light from a torch beside us.

"Most priests I've met have a dark past. They seem to think serving a divine will help them escape their past... I only hope your was a bit more forgiving than theirs." I said quietly. I know Martin heard me because I saw his shadow turn towards mine. "I think I am ready to rest again now." I said as I got up, I turned to Martin before leaving. "Thank you for speaking with me." I smiled gratefully before leaving to my bedroll.

I stared up at the exposed sky above with tired eyes, my thoughts lingered on the conversation I had just had with Martin. I wondered what it was I couldn't remember. Was I the only one affected? Was Miraak thrown somewhere in time as well? Should I have killed him instead? Slowly my eyes became heavy and my last thoughts whispering before drifting off.

 _Am I stuck here?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The rays of the morning sunlight filtered into the room, invading my light sleep. I opened my eyes groggily, most of the survivors were still sleeping. As I looked around a voice startled me.

"Your up quite early." Martin said quietly as I nearly jumped out of my skin and turned towards him. He was at the alter not far from where I was. I peeled myself from the floor and walked over to him with my arms crossed.

"I could say the same for you." I noticed how tired he looked, did he not sleep?

"I suppose you could... I don't believe I ever got your name." Martin looked over at the offerings at the alter as he watered the wilted flowers with care. I wondered how he must be feeling after yesterday. Ilazki had told him this happened because of him, and then my last words towards him were a bit insensitive. Then the slight squeak of the heavy doors brought my attention away. Ilazki came in, she was a mess and looked a bit injured as she slightly limped her way over to us.

"Everyone will be safe now. We must go now." Ilazki spoke quietly, now that she was closer I could see that her leg had a daedric arrow lodged into her calf.

"You should fix your injury before leaving. You'd be no use to the emperor with an injury like that." I told Ilazki. She let out a sigh before agreeing. Martin helped her sit down before leaving to retrieve a bowl of water. I watched Ilazki attempt to pull the arrow out but she was going to do more damage the way she was going about it. I quickly stopped her before she made anything worse.

"Daedric arrows are serrated, if you don't pull it through you will only do more damage. Cut the tail off and pull it by the head." I instructed. Ilazki hesitated before attempting to do so. She broke the tail off but I noticed this alone cause a bit more pain than what she could handle. If she didn't do this in one fast swipe she would be in more pain than necessary. I decided to pull it out for her, with no warning. She gasped in surprise and whimpered as I did this, once I was done Martin came back to see us bickering.

"Warn me next time, you stupid nord!"

"If I did you would have refused! Don't be such a child about this-" I heard Martin clear his throat and I stopped mid sentence. He had a rag and the bowl of water all ready. I simply nodded and walked away towards the door, I should go, leave them to their adventure. I had no place here.

It wasn't long before she was well again, I could see the fatigue in her eyes but she didn't seemed bothered with it, she stopped before leaving and looked over at me.

"Should I be expecting you to follow this time?" She asked. I suppose this was an invite. I didn't exactly know my way around Cyrodiil, it would be the wiser thing to do. I peeled myself from the wall and nodded. I followed her and Martin, everyone else left the chapel as well but they were guided towards an encampment outside the city, we passed them and headed south, this dunmer had us avoid the roads, telling us it would be faster to travel through.

"My name is Astra by the way..." I said, remembering that Martin had asked me earlier. Ilazki ignored me, Martin on the other hand looked over and responded with a nod. The walk was quiet, no one talked to each other. I kept looking at Ilazki, observing her. The more I looked at her the more I saw Sheogorath. I was almost tempted to ask, but I knew better.

"We should stop here to rest." Ilazki said as she halted. There were boulders on one side, jutting out from a hillside and trees surrounding the area. I noticed a small circle of rocks in the middle of the campsite. I assumed this was where she stayed when she traveled from Weynon Priory to the city. I watched as Ilazki put he pack down before mentioning she was going to scout the perimeter. I supposed I should make myself useful and gather some firewood. Martin sat down he seemed to be in deep thought. I made sure not to go far, picking up dried wood and dried leaves to use as kindling.

Soon I came back with a decent amount to start a fire. I began to set the wood and kindling inside the circle of rocks and began to light the wood. Once the fire was started I looked up at the stars, the only thing that seemed familiar in this strange time. I wondered if I would ever figure out what had happened to me. I tried to remember, but like every other time the acute pain in my head would come back. I tried my best to ignore it, to see if I could retrieve even just a glimpse, anything to give me a clue, rather than rely on my assumptions. Something was stopping me from remembering what had happened, but something else surfaced. A memory about Miraak after we had escaped Apocrypha.

 _"It's only a matter of time before he comes for us again..." I said with my arms crossed from across the dimly lit room. The fire from the hearth and a few lanterns on a table were the only things lighting the room. The window only showed darkness and snow._

 _"We've defeated him once before, there is no reason we cant do it again." Miraak said simply in his arrogant tone. His attention on the display case of my collection of pages from something called the Mysterium Xarxes. I had taken them from the museum in Dawnstar. I scowled at him, he didn't seem worried about upsetting a Daedric Prince. But I knew better, I had been around Skyrim, running into priests that had tried to run from their old life by devoting themselves to the Divines._

 _"I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation." I grumbled._

 _"Where did you acquire these pages, they're quite interesting." He said, completely ignoring what I said. I let out a sigh of frustration as I rubbed my temples._

I brought my hand to my head, I felt lightheaded from the pain and completely drained. I had remembered something. I guess after we escaped it had taken some time for this to happen. This memory only proved my assumption that this occurrence had something to do with Hermaeus Mora.

"You look like your going to be sick." I heard Ilazki, she was back from her perimeter check.

"I'm fine. Just tired." I lied. I wasn't tired, and I wasn't fine. "Did you have a plan on what to eat?" I asked them both. Ilazki seemed to quickly realize sheepishly she hadn't resupplied during our stop in the encampment and I already knew Martin didn't bring anything. Neither one of us had eaten yet. I stood up and announced that I would hunt us something and left before anyone said anything.

It was fairly easy to find a deer, but since I didn't have a bow, catching it would not be easy. I slowly crept closer. The pain from earlier began to come back in a dull throb. I tried to ignore it and tried to only concentrated on the animal. Once I had gotten close enough I lounged at the animal, sword ready to strike. I was lucky enough to catch it this time around. I was able to stab through it's back , paralyzing it. I killed it soon after to end it's misery. I felt a strong pang of pain in my head again. I took a moment to focus on breathing until the pain dulled. I pulled the deer over my shoulders and made my way back.

Once I made it back I dropped the animal on the floor. I couldn't focus very well anymore. I heard their voices but it was too muffled to understand but I could tell from their faces they were asking about my well being again. I tried to play it off but they saw through it. I sat down against a tree, I tried to focus on my breathing.

When everything cleared again I noticed Ilazki preparing the carcass to cook. I thought back on the memory that had come back. There wasn't much to remember about it, but I recognized the place as my house. I was never really there, I always had something to do for someone, an errand.

"You should eat something. You look like you need it." Ilazki brought me out of my thoughts as she offered me a piece of venison. Was it really that long already? I simply nodded and accepted her offer and began to eat with the rest of them.

"How much longer till we reach Weynon Priory?" I ask.

"About half a day. We will leave in the morning. Traveling at night is not wise." Ilazki stated.

"I see... I may not go with you in the morning. I have to look for someone."

"Who are you looking for?" Martin asked.

"A comrade." I stated simply. "The one I told you about in the chapel." I answered. He looked at the fire in silence. He had a distant look on his face.

"I see you both have gotten well acquainted. This comrade of yours wouldn't happen to be some troublemaker." She looked up at me expectantly. I frowned. I wasn't sure honestly. If I had trouble remembering how I had gotten here, he might have been affected as well.

"I'm not sure, my memory is hazy, I fear his might be as well. If I could find him, maybe we could piece together what happened before I ended up in that prison cell with you." I could feel a dull pain in the back of my mind. As if it were warning me of the consequences if I tried to force myself to remember once again.

"Well let us hope he stays out of trouble then. With the oblivion gates opening all around Tamriel, he may already have died if he wasn't careful. I doubted that, but her words cut through me. Why did her words hurt? I shrugged it off, what she was saying was sensible, but she didn't know him. I remember when we fought. I had tried my best to convince him that I could help him because I couldn't see another way. If we had fought to the death like Hermaeus had planned, I'm not sure I would have survived.

"I'm sure he's fine." I didn't doubt his ability, but if he forgot our deal, he may be a threat to others. I didn't say any of this though.

The Next morning we had left, I didn't talk much, conversation was mostly held between Ilazki and Martin. I was the first to wake that morning. I had a strange dream, I couldn't remember everything, I could only recall a voice. Miraak's voice.

 _There is another dragonborn among us._

What did that mean? Was he referring to Martin? Clearly I had already known that. Was there a possibility that he meant someone else? I shrugged it off. It was probably just my mind coming up with nonsense again. That's the only logical explanation on why I would even hear his voice, like in the prison. As we neared Weynon priory someone came running, screaming for help. Assassins had come here, I caught sight of one while the dunmer talked to Ilazki and Martin. I didn't hesitate to attack the assassin. This assassin was well trained to fight, making it a bit difficult to defeat them. I felt a mace shred my back as I dealt with one. Another had appeared behind me. I pushed them away from me for a moment.

"Mul Qah Diiv!" I could feel the pain numb a bit as an ethereal silhouette of a dragon began to appear around me. This seemed to make the attackers hesitate, giving me a chance to easily kill one of them. I pushed my sword through the chest of the first assassin. I could hear him suffocating his own blood.

"I... Do not fear... Death." He choked out as I kicked him off my blade. He tried to get up again but he fell again, he was too weak from lack of air to continue to fight, it would only be a matter of time before he drowned in his own blood. I easily ripped through the second assassin, the mace that had grazed me shattered at the sheer force of my hits. Fear grew in the assassins eyes as they realized that I now outmatched them. I swung my sword at their neck, they moved back in an attempt to avoid it but it still made contact, slicing the front of their throat. Blood gushed and splashed out rapidly. They reached out to me as they fell to the ground. The distinct sound of coughing and wheezing was all I could hear. I left them to die, the look of pure terror in their eyes as they realized I would not finish them off was the last thing I saw before I left. I ran into the temple, the effects of the shout started to fade. More assassins. I helped everyone finish off the assassins, but one got away. I had hesitated, and they escaped with the Amulet of Kings. I recognized him, he seemed to recognize me as well but there was no friendliness. He had easily used this opportunity to plunge a dagger into my side before pushing me aside. I writhed in pain, he hadn't bothered in taking his dagger after shoving it into me, he left it there, I felt a painful tightening in my chest. I felt betrayed, Miraak was safe, but he did not seem to be on my side anymore. This much was clear, I felt Ilazki help me up to sit, leaning me against a pew in the temple. I saw Martin rush to my side and he began to heal the injury, I didn't feel pain from the discomfort then, I only felt a strong pain in my chest.

 **A/N:**

KiyoshiWakeshima: Thank you so much for the review! :D I'm glad you like it so far ^-^


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"We've lost the amulet but we at least still have Martin. But he cannot stay here, it's not safe." The man whose name was Jauffre had spoken. I felt numb. I had been healed of my injury and kept the dagger Miraak had used against me.

"Well then where would be safe for him?" Ilazki asked.

"No where is truly safe-" Jauffre was cut off by Ilazki, who spoke with frustration.

"If no where is safe what do you expect us to do?"

"We need to buy time until we can recover the amulet. We must take him to the blades secret safe haven. Cloud Ruler Temple." The mere mention of the Blades from Jauffre sent my blood a boil. I was still livid with Delphine and her blades.

"Then we take him there, how long is the travel."

"A few days, we will be taking the horses. There is no time to doddle. The assassins could be back for Martin if we stay longer than necessary." Jauffre said. I crossed my arms in disdain at this suggestion. Hiding Martin like some frail animal. He was dragonborn wasn't he?

"If Martin is Dragonborn, why does he need shelter from a few meager assassins. Can he not fight like the rest of us?" My words seemed absurd to Jauffre.

"Do you have any idea of the gravity of this situation? Martin is the _last_ Septim. We cannot risk him like that, and it is the duty of the Blades to keep the dragonborn safe-"

"Is it now? I thought it was your job to keep a dragonborn around so they could kill the dragons for you." I said livid. Everyone looked at me with confusion. I took in a breath, I had to remind myself of where I was, this was not the conversation to have right now. His suggestion seemed sensible, if Martin had really been capable he would have been able to do more in Kvatch. I reluctantly apologized and agreed with jauffre's notion to take Martin to safety.

"What is your deal with the blades?" Ilazki asked, putting her hand on her hip as she stared at me, waiting for an answer.

"When I was a blade at Sky Haven Temple, they're grandmaster asked me a to kill a friend. I declined, which only caused dispute. I was kicked out, gladly."

"That seems a bit dramatic-"

"The sole purpose of the blades was to eradicate dragons, the dragonborn was to be their main weapon because only a dragonborn can kill a dragon."

"What is the relevance of this to your story? Your not making any sense."

"The friend I speak of was the dragon Paarthunax. After the dragon wars he had taken refuge and hid himself away from the world, he changed for the better."

"A dragon? You must be insane-" Jauffre started but I cut him off in anger.

"Nahlot!" I shouted, the air rumbled eerily. Jauffre stared at me, startled. The power of my dragon voice shook the very walls, I looked up at the ceiling as dirt and dust trickled from the nooks and cranny's of the temple. I placed my hand over my mouth, realization I should calm myself before speaking otherwise I'd bring down the whole place. I drew in a breath before speaking again. "I'm sorry. I should leave." I began to leave but Jauffre spoke again.

"That voice, you are dragonborn?" He was shocked.

"It doesn't matter." I said before leaving. I needed to find Miraak, settle what had happened between us earlier. I decided to just follow the roads, that wold be the easiest for me to travel without getting lost.

"Wait!" I heard Ilazki's voice call out. I stopped with a sigh. "Why don't you train Martin. If no where is safe it would only make sense to prepare him for the worst."

"I am no teacher... But... I suppose he should learn something. Bring him outside. I will teach him something, but I will not follow you in your quest. It should only take a moment."

"Why not come with us?" Ilazki demanded. I didn't answer her. She huffed in frustration and went to get the others.

When Martin was brought out he seemed confused, I smiled, this reminded me of how confused I was when I had gone to see the greybeards. How naive I was then. I looked to the floor and used the words of power for Dragon Aspect. Everyone watched in awe as the floor formed words in dragon language.

"Martin, come read these and I will give you my understanding of them." I said, he looked at me confused, baffled even. He doubted his ability to read a language he had never seen, but as he neared the words whispered to him, calling him. Soon he read them aloud.

"Mul... Qah... Diiv... What is this?" He asked.

"This is Dragon Aspect, Strength, Armor, Wrym. This shout will allow your dragon soul forth to protect you from most harm." I closed my eyes as I took a breath, trying to feed him one of the many dragon souls I had absorbed, I felt something come out, the wind picked up around us and I felt drained after this, my head swimming. "Now speak."

"... Mul Qah Diiv." Martin was soon enveloped in the silhouette of a dragon. Everyone was impressed at how fast he had grasped this.

"Anyone can learn to shout after years of learning, but only a dragonborn can learn at this speed." I took in a breath, trying to hide my fatigue. "But though you are a dovah, your body is still mortal. Your body will tear itself apart if you use your dragon voice too consecutively. Drem yol lok dovahkiin." I turned to go on my way. Ignoring Jauffre's calls. I had no interest in working with the blades. Even if their cause was noble.

Their calls soon stopped and I assumed they went about their business to get Martin to Cloud Ruler Temple. I walked for hours down the path and soon the tree's thinned, revealing an open savannah around the path. I had to admit Cyrodiil had beauty, but it would never compare to Skyrim. I could see the famous White Gold Tower from where I was, that must be Imperial City. Where I started. I suppose I should start my search for answers there. If I'm lucky I'll find out more information on how I had even gotten here.

I began to cut through the field, making my way towards the Tower I saw, soon the city was in view, I stopped at the lake before me, I looked around and noticed a bridge to the far side. I decided it would be faster to swim through the lake to the other side, I jumped in and began to swim to the city. It didn't take long to reach the other side but as I emerged my shredded linen shirt clung to me and was a bit more revealing than what would be considered decent. I wrung out what I could and made my way into the city. I noticed the stares I was getting but paid no mind to them.

As I explored the city I ran into the blade I had seen in the sewers. Baurus I think his name was? He noticed me as well and came up to me, assuming.

"Jauffre said he'd send someone to help, I didn't think that would be you." He said amused.

"I wasn't sent by anyone." I said. He chuckled mutely, embarrassed of his assumption. I bit my lip and contemplated my next words carefully. "Perhaps I can help you until you get this help you need." my words light up his face.

"That would be great." He finally noticed I was drenched and shifted awkwardly before speaking again. "But first we should get you something a bit more decent." He cleared his throat and I shrugged.

"It would be nice not to feel soggy." I agreed. He lead me towards a shop. He asked the shopkeeper for something that would fit me. The shopkeeper's face flushed at the sight of me before stammering a response. He soon came back with something. I honestly didn't care what I had received but when I saw that he had come back with leather armor I looked over at Baurus, wondering if he was really going to spend his money on such a thing. Baurus indeed exchanged money for it and I was sent off to the dressing room. Once I emerged again he said to consider it a token of gratitude for my assistance. I pouted, this meant if I backed out I would seem ungrateful. Sneaky redgaurd.

We made our way to an Inn, we sat down in the lobby at a table and he began to fill me in on what he needed and what he had discovered.

"I've been sent here to find any clues that will help us find the Amulet. So far I've only discovered that the cult that has the amulet are daedra worshipers. They call themselves the Mythic Dawn." Baurus said in a hushed tone. This brought me to my full attention. The Mythic Dawn? I remembered I had met a cult member in Dawnstar, he owned the museum. Silus I believe his name was.

 _The cults greatest accomplishment was the assassination of the Septim Dynasty and the beginning of the Oblivion Crisis._

Silus was proud of his heritage, even though it had torn Tamriel apart. I looked up to Baurus.

"Then we need to find the Shrine to Mehrunes Dagon." I said.

"Problem is, I don't know where to start."

"I remember meeting a member in my travels... I remember he had a collection of tomes, they were called _Commentaries on the Mysterium Xarxes._ " I admitted I looked up at him. "If we could find a copy of them, maybe we can find their shrine."

"You seem to know quite a bit." He noted. I shrugged.

"I guess, I came across a member of the Mythic Dawn back in Skyrim. He had these books so in his house." I half lied as I spoke of Silus. He wasn't a member, he was a descendant.

"How did you know that he had these... Tomes?"

"I stole from his house, how else? I'm not exactly a saint." I said honestly. I had broken into his museum, to take some souvenirs. Honestly I really shouldn't have. I really just stole it because I cold, not because I even wanted any of it. I stole the actual pages of the Mysterium Xarxes and placed them in my house as decor. He laughed at my admittance.

"Wow, I'm not sure how to feel about that." He laughed again.

"No one really does. Anyway. We should look for these books. Maybe then we can figure out where to find this amulet." I said with a smile, he nodded and we went our separate ways to investigate.

He headed to the Arcane University while I headed out to the nearest bookstore. I wasn't actually sure how easy these things would be to find but I was sure I'd find something at the bookstore, even just information. I found myself in front of a place called First Edition. I went in and the shopkeeper welcomed me. I asked if they had any Volumes of the Commentaries. The shopkeeper was ecstatic and said he had just ordered a copy of the third volume, but it was meant for another costumer. I sighed and asked about this costumer.

"His name is Gwinas, perhaps you two could work something out, he should be here to pick up the book in a weeks time." He said.

"Okay. Well, what about any of the other volumes?" I asked.

"I'm afraid we don't carry any other copies. But perhaps you can ask the mages guild. Taarmina has much knowledge about daedra, perhaps she can assist you with the other copies." He answered. He suddenly seemed weary, his hushed tone suggested that this was a subject we shouldn't be talking about. I thanked him and went on my way and sighed. Well I suppose I better tell Baurus. I made my way back to the Inn we had agreed to meet at. I sat at the table we sat at earlier and hoped that Baurus had better luck than I did. After a few hours he came back and took a seat next to me. He seemed contented to see me, I wondered if he thought I was successful in retrieving any volumes.

"Any luck?" I asked. He smiled and took out a book. It was the second volume, I casualty opened it and began to skim through it as he asked me about how I fared. I told him about what happened in First Edition, and when this Gwinas would be picking up his copy of the 3rd volume. Baurus nodded.

This second volume seemed to just be a boring little story, there wasn't any clue as to where the shrine would be or could be found. Although perhaps with all of them you could find the location hidden as some sort of code. I could feel fatigue, it had been awhile since I last ate but I tried to hide it. I could always steal a sweetroll on my way out.

"I'll ask around some more, why don't you rest here." Baurus said, before I could protest he gave me a key. "My room is upstairs on the far left." He said and left me at the table. I sighed decided perhaps I should. I made my way to his room, this inn wasn't too big so figuring out which room it was wasn't too hard. I entered the room and saw a bowl of fruit on a small table. I shrugged and decided to help myself to an apple as I sat down on the bed. It was much more comfortable than the bedroll I had slept on in the Chapel of Akatosh. As soon as I finished the apple I laid back into the bed and enjoyed how relaxing it was, I wasn't sleepy but it was nice to rest. I closed my eyes, forgetting about the door and just laid there like that.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed there for but I felt someone grab me, pulling me to my feet. I looked up to see someone in red before I felt a blunt pain in my jaw. Everything went dark after that.

 **A/N:**

Okay so I have some cosplays to work on for an upcoming con next month so I may not update for a few days!

KiyoshiWakeshima: Thanks again! Your review is really motivating! :D I'm really glad you like this so far!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The first thing I felt when I came to was the restraints on my wrists, I opened my eyes and I found myself in a dimly lit room, a single chair on the far side of the room. I looked around and saw a door with a deadbolt and no doorknob. I figured it was locked. I looked down to see that the floor was covered in dirt, I furrowed my eyebrows, the walls had looked completely normal. I searched the empty room but there wasn't really anything else here. I assumed this whoever took me didn't plan to keep me for long. I tried to get out of my binds but this only made them tighter, I sighed and just sat there in defeat.

The door creaked open, I looked up, not really knowing what to expect. I saw someone in red robes come inside. A crest of a sunrise on the back was the first thing I saw. A Mythic Dawn member no doubt. When they turned to me they stood at the doorway, unmoving, staring at me. I couldn't see their face, the light was too dim to see anything under the hood. The Mythic Dawn member came over to me, slowly, dragging the chair closer to me. I felt uneasy as I watched them settle just a few steps away.

"Come." The voice was just over a whisper. I cautiously made my way over to them. They motioned me to sit in the chair they had taken from the far side of the room. I slowly took a seat, waiting for them to speak. "Your quite the troublesome girl." He commented.

"What do you want from me." My question went on deaf ears as he stared at me, as my eyes adjusted to the light I could see his features a bit more clearly, he was brenton.

The door opened again and another member came in, I still couldn't see any features but the first member who came went over to them. They whispered to each other and before the two other dragged in another prisoner. An argonian.

I looked over at the unconscious body of this argonian, I felt a sudden tight grip on my chin as the brenton forced me to look at him. He held a blade in his hand and then warned me, If I tried to escape I would be killed on sight. He pushed me back into the floor and left, I heard the door lock, then footsteps fading as they left. I looked over at the unconscious argonian, he was wearing robes and an Amulet of Arkay. Was he a priest?

I looked around again, there was a small torch in the far wall, perhaps I could burn the bounds of if I could just get that torch down. I looked over at the chair in the middle of the room, I went over to the chair and began to push the chair over to the far wall with the torch. I stepped up carefully, putting my back to the torch as I raised my bound hands to the fire. I took a deep breath as the heat of the torch burned my hands. I felt my bounds weakening with each passing second and I began to try to pull the bounds apart.

"What do you think your doing?" The voice was accusing, I gasped as I looked to the door, I had been caught. It was Miraak, I wasn't sure if I could feel relieved yet as I remembered our last encounter. Would Miraak really kill me this time? He came over and pulled me down from where I stood, I hit the ground hard face first.

"Stand up prisoner." He said. I brought my knees to my chest and slowly lifted myself up, wondering what to expect. I saw him pull out a potion of some sort, he reached out to my face and touched my cheek tenderly as I flinched. His expression was confused, did he not remember me? Or was he toying with me? His eyes hardened before snaking his hand behind my head and forcing down the strange potion. I tried to refuse but with the liquid building I began to choke, I had no choice but to drink it. Once it was done I saw him stow the bottle away. I could feel myself weakening, the room seemed to be spinning. He cut the burned bounds around my hands and he puled out some new ones. I held on to him in an attempt to keep myself standing but my legs gave way. He caught me and and he slowly brought me down. I fought the effects as best I could. I didn't trust this potion.

"What did you give me." I asked, I was so confused. He gave me smug smirk before he answered.

"Sleep." He said simply. I tried my hardest to fight the weakness, the urge to let myself go grew stronger with each passing moment. I could feel fear, I looked up at him, pleading. I didn't believe that this was a simple sleep potion.

"What did you give me, you bastard." I tried to lift myself but only succeeded in weakly pulling his robes. He frowned a bit as he began to wrap new bounds around my wrists.

"If I truly wanted to kill you, it would not be painless." His voice sounded tender, but I knew better, He was trying to coax me into giving in. I saw him reach to his head with a pained expression.

I weakly tried to pull myself up but my strength was leaving me bit by bit.

"Miraak..." He looked at me, as if he was trying to recognize me but everything was fading, I could feel my eyes go heavy, a feeling of warmth leaving and the sound of the door closing. He had left me there in the prison.

I awoke with a jolt, I felt cold, my hands bound behind me. I heard a voice, everything was dark. As my senses came back I heard the words much clearer.

"... The time of cleansing draws nigh. I go now, to paradise. I shall return with Lord Dagon at the coming of Dawn!" The source of the voice finally came into view as a portal opened and they walked through it. The harsh light that came with it quickly faded and my eyes readjusted to the darkness and soon another voice started. Coming from a woman who spoke to a pair who wore the same robes as her.

"You have come to dedicate yourselves to Lord Dagon's service. This pact must be sealed with red-drink, the blood of Lord Da-" Interrupting her midsentence I spoke.

"Okay I get it, would you just shut up and get on with it!" I called out irritated. She shot me a glare before she continued.

"You must slay the sacrifices to bind yourselves fully to Lord Dagon's service. Lord Dagon thirsts for blood." As she said the last part she looked over at me. I rolled my eyes and waited for the pair to come over to the alter we were set on. I noticed the argonian was conscious as I heard him gasp as he saw the pair come to us with daggers.

I couldn't see their faces as they neared. They lifted their daggers as I watched the daggers fall I call upon my dragon voice.

"Yol Toor Shul!" My shout shook my surroundings, one of the two who held the daggers barely escaped the fire that came from my breath, only grazing the robes. The other two at the alter were burned, they fell to the ground badly burned. I took the dagger from the floor quickly, cutting out of my bounds. I noticed there were more below the alter. I heard a loud crack and noticed the alter was falling apart. I quickly grabbed the argonian, pulling him out of harms way. I cut his bounds and told him to run. Everyone came after me, throwing spells of sparks and fire at me. I quickly ran from the oncoming barrage and took shelter behind the remains of the alter. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before spring out from the rubble and attacking the first cultist in sight. I easily took down three but was hit by a destruction spell. I gasped in pain and fell to the ground. I looked back and saw four charging at me charging.

"Fus Ro Dah!" The power of my voice sent them flying back into the rubble of the alter, a deafening _crack_ could be heard as they made contact with the debris. I felt an arrow strike me from the back. I cried out in pain and forced myself to move. I felt another arrow hit my leg and I toppled over to the ground. I fell onto the steps of the alter, but pushed myself up quickly and ran once again. Climbing over the debris to hide behind it. I broke the arrows off of me, this increased the pain for a bit I hissed at the throbbing pain and tried to focus on my breathing. Then I noticed one of the charred bodies next to me was alive. I also noticed the one I had missed was gone, but the robes were left discarded on the ground in front of me. I also noticed there was fighting, I peaked over to see Ilazki fighting with the remaining cultists. I ducked down quickly as an arrow had barely missed my face. I looked over at the charred individual next to me as I remembered Miraak was among these cultists. I crawled over to the body and took the hood off, revealing a nord with long brown hair cascading over his accentuated cheekbones. His one blue eye was a bright cerulean and his other was a yellow dragons eye. It was Miraak. My breath caught in my throat, as I realized this. I quickly tore off the searing robes, his injuries seemed bad but I knew he'd make it, it took more than that to really hurt him. At least I'd hoped, I hoisted him up onto my lap and tried to get his attention.

"Miraak, you better not die on me, you bastard!" I scolded. He looked up at me with a distant expression.

"How is it you know my name... But I have no idea who you are?" He coughed as he spoke, putting his hand over his temples as he continued. "Yet... You seem familiar."

"Now's not really the time to be wasting your energy on this." I said as I looked around cautiously. I could hear Ilazki struggling with the cultists. I looked back at Miraak and instructed him to stay put. He scowled at me before I left him there, still injured I charged at an unsuspecting cultist, tearing the dagger down the flesh of their back. An agonizing sound ripped through them as they fell to the floor, I looked up as an arrow hit me. They were out of my reach to quickly charge at them so as the knocked another arrow I through my dagger at them, piercing them through the eye. They fell to the ground, lifeless, their arrow barely missing me and hitting the wall beside me.

I felt someone grab me and force me to the ground.

"For Lord Dagon!" They shouted as I felt a piercing pain in my back, I cried out in agony as they ripped out their blade and came down on me again. I struggled to escape but I was already weak from my other injuries.

"Harrow!" The cultist that was attacking me looked up, dropping me to the ground, that's when I heard his unique thu'um. "Zii Los Dii Du" A sudden wind picked up and the cultist began screaming in agony as his very soul was pulled out of his body and absorbed by Miraak. Soon after his body fell lifelessly to the ground. I didn't attempt to move yet, just breathing caused me immense pain. I heard his slow footsteps getting closer, I told myself I needed to get, to be ready for anything in case he attacked. But as I tried to peel myself from the ground my aching body protested, shocks of pain going through me as I sat up. Ragged breaths only adding to my current pain.

Miraak knelt down beside me and began to hoist me up. I couldn't help but whimper at the pain as he picked me up, supporting my legs and torso, holding me to his chest. Then I saw Ilazki step in front of us.

"And where do you think you're going?" Ilazki's voice dripped with warning. I looked at her and tried to speak.

"Ilazki..." Talking caused more pain then I thought it would. I clenched my teeth as I tried to focus on breathing to ease the pain, but no matter what I did the pain didn't numb. I started to speak again anyway. "Dammit, someone just put me out of my misery already." I could feel my head swimming and I felt lighter. I felt that we were walking again and Ilazki was close behind, calling out, saying something to Miraak I think? I wasn't sure. I was drifting, I wondered if I was going to die.

I was in and out of consciousness most of the time, I remember the distinct feeling of traveling by horse, the temperature dropping, and then warmth. I opened my eyes and saw a wooden ceiling over me, the smell of burning would and the sound of wood cracking filled me, relaxing me. I looked about confused and noticed Ilazki talking to... Martin? What? I sat up slowly expecting to feel pain, but I felt nothing of the sort. I looked down at myself and saw that I was wearing a soft linen shirt and brown breeches.

"Your awake." Ilazki sounded relieved. I looked at her confused, expecting some sort of explanation.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I brought you and that Mythic Dawn agent here." Her words confused me for a moment before I realized who she was talking about.

"Miraak, where is he?"

"Is that what his name is? He's locked in the-"

"I need to speak with him."

"Absolutely not, he's dangerous." Martin stepped in. I looked up at them and sighed. I'd have to reveal him as the comrade I was looking for if they didn't allow me.

"I don't care what you think, I'm going to talk to him." I stood up, I was a bit sore but it was bearable. I walked out of the room, not knowing where I was going I simply went on instinct, feeling for the dragon soul within him. Ilazki grabbed my arm, pulling me to a halt.

"You're not going anywhere until you answer my questions." She said, I glared at her and yanked my arm away. I sighed exasperated.

"What questions?"

"You seem to be pretty close to this cultist. Who is he?"

"This is ridiculous, why not ask him yourself?" I countered her question.

"He refuses to speak to us."

"He tends to do that, he's quite pompous." I said. She looked at me expectantly. I rolled my eyes and spoke again. "I can answer your questions after. This is important." I said as I walked off. She followed me quietly, watching me navigate through the unfamiliar place. I found myself in front of a door at the bottom of some stairs. I quietly opened the door, closing the door behind me. Ilazki didn't follow me in but there was a shower under the door. She intended on listening in. I turned my attention to Miraak. He was tied to a chair in the middle of the room, his mouth gagged. I slowly walked over to him and placed my hand gently on his shoulder to get his attention. He looked up at me angrily but his features soften as he realized it was me. He looked at me with caution instead, I slowly removed the gag and asked him the question I had long needed to ask since Kvatch.

"Do you remember anything before we ended up in Cyrodiil?"

 **A/N:** Had some time to make another chapter today!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"We? I believe I arrived alone." Miraak stared at me with caution. How affected was his memory?

"Before we came here, I remember helping you escape Apocrypha, it gets a bit hazy after that but I remember a piece of a conversation we had, I had told you it was only a matter of time before Hermaeus Mora found us." My words seemed to jog something in his memory, soon he wore another pained expression, like before. I placed my hand on his head to comfort him, he must be having the same pain I do when I try to remember.

"That seems familiar..." He admitted.

"I get the same pain when I try to force myself to remember." I said as I watched his pained scowl grow. "I'm not sure whats blocking our memory, but I though maybe we could help each other remember. And perhaps return to 4E 201." I added. Miraak looked at me with confusion?

"4th Era?" Miraak looked at me oddly.

"Yes, the oblivion crisis had already passed. Do you not remember the Return of Alduin? You told me-"

"They wanted to use me to deal with Alduin, Hakon and the rest..." He finished my sentence. He looked at me with suspicion.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not the one who was the bad guy. You've been in service to two different Daedric Princes now. You're the bad guy." I accused. He seemed to smile arrogantly at this.

"It's about perspective." The smug bastard daring me with his eyes to argue.

"Difficult as usual I see." I said with a pouty expression. I reached behind him and untied him from his bounds. I figured if he wanted to get away he would have tried already.

"Won't your friends be upset about this." He said referring to me untying him.

"Do you ever shut up?" I asked. He looked at me with familiarity and for a moment he gave me a sweet smile. I was confused but didn't say anything about it. "They have some questions for you. So you better answer them." I said with my arms crossed. His smile was gone as soon as it came and he went back to his stoic expression from before. He nodded and followed me to the door. I assumed Ilazki would still be out there to tell me how poor my judgment was. Admittedly, I would have to agree with her on that. There was no guarantee he would answer any of their questions. When I opened the door I was not met with doubtful eyes, she looked at Miraak and back at me before gesturing us to follow. Did she really trust me? I wasn't sure how to feel about this, but I followed her and she lead us to the main room, there was a fireplace at the far end, next to it, a wooden table with a few chairs beside it. Occupying one of those chairs was Martin, we all took seats beside him and in front of him I finally noticed a book, with daedric writing. I didn't recognize it, but I felt like I should. Miraak on the other hand seemed to immediately recognize them and pulled the book from Martins grasp and looked it over. All eyes were on him as he scanned the book. Just as Martin was about to protest, Miraak addressed me.

"I remember these pages." He looked up at me and then I began to recognize the book as well. "You had these displayed in your house after you stole them from Silus."

All eyes were on me after that. I quickly took the book from his, flushed with anger. I impulsively hit him with the book before wordlessly giving the book back to Martin. Miraak was not pleased by this sudden outburst.

"What does he mean by that?" Ilazki's tone was as untrusting as when I had first met her. "Have you been plotting with the enemy this whole time?" She sounded more like she had been accusing me, rather than questioning me.

"No, of course not." I answered with irritation.

"Ilazki, please settle down." Martin placed his hand on her arm as an attempt to coax her. She looked at him before reluctantly sitting down, still demanding I answer.

"It's a bit complicated to explain..."

"No, but it may be a difficult concept for them to grasp." Miraak corrected me. I shot him a glare as he sent me a smug look before he decided to explain the situation. I listened as well, he seemed to remember different things than I did. He explained who he was. How he was the first dragonborn, I rolled my eyes as he explained how he could have destroyed Alduin, but chose not to. How Hermaeus Mora, brought him to Apocrypha and how he had learned many forbidden things. He was very vague about his life in Aporcypha, then when he got to me. I looked at the table as I listened.

"Then I was confronted with the Last Dragonborn, Astra. She was a weak little thing, but admittedly she did slay Alduin." I could hear the arrogance and insult that was laced in his admittance. He continued, "when we met again, Hermaeus had planned to replace me with her. He was a fickle master. And as I fought her, she pleaded a deal. If I helped her defeat Hermaeus, she would help free me from his grasps. I agreed and once we did manage to escape Hermaeus had sent many to kill us." I looked up at Miraak, his expression went from blank to pained. This must be where his memory cuts off.

"Then what?" I urged him to continue.

"I don't remember much after that. But I remember we arrived at your house, I remember... When we had arrived, you had found that someone had slaughtered your entire family. Your housecarl injured and left for display on a pike, just outside your garden..." He placed his hand on his head, trying to ignore his pain to continue to remember. "I remember those pages, you explained to me you had stolen them from someone named Silus, the owner of the Mythic Dawn Museum..." He looked weary, he glanced down at the table in defeat. He must not have been able to pull much more from his memory.

I looked down at the table as well as I tried to remember the scene he described. I put my hand over my mouth as a flash came back to mind. My late husband, I remembered the blood on the walls, the floors, the look of pure terror in his eyes. Everything in that room had been destroyed. As if someone had tore their way through, trying to rip him apart. A distinct pain in my chest that wouldn't calm began to fill me, tears prickled. I quickly stood up and left before anyone could question me. I quickly walked out some double doors that had lead to the outside, I was met with a cold harsh embrace, snow fluttering violently towards me. It reminded me of Skyrim, where was I? I was not dressed appropriately for the weather, but it didn't matter. I felt numb to it, the more I thought about what Miraak said, the more I remembered.

 _Did you think you would escape me so easily dragonborn?_

I clenched my hands into fists as I remembered Hermaeus Mora's taunting words. I remembered my Housecarl's last words to me as well. The message from Hermaeus Mora.

 _"No matter where you go, there is no escape. You will always belong to me. One way or another, you will come back to serve me dragonborn."_

I sat down in the deep snow beside me, none of this explained how I got here. This was unnecessary information, I took a deep breath as I tried to push my sorrows back. Reminding myself that this Daedric Prince was like any other. All those priests that had turned their backs on these Daedra were always brought back somehow, so that they would be tortured, killed, or worse. I was now no different from them. The criticism I gave them then were now the same words I heard to myself.

 _Perhaps this is a lesson, not to trifle with daedra._

The words I would always carelessly throw at them, without thinking of the gravity of their situation, now taunted me. It was more then just themselves whom were effected by these decisions. I heard the door open behind me.

"Astra..." Martin's voice was gentle and inviting, I dared to look back at him, knowing the frail mess I must have been. I watched him take place a fur around my shoulders before seating himself beside me. I looked down at the snow as I clutched the fur closer around me, thanking him.

"I left before he even started answering your questions. Was he difficult?" I asked Martin, watching his shadow.

"No he answered them, thanks to your coaxing, we now know where to continue our search for the Amulet." Martin said sheepishly. I wiped off my tears on my sleeve and put on a brave face.

"Well I suppose some good came out of that..." I shifted uncomfortably, the cold was starting to effect me but I refused to admit it aloud. "... I didn't think remembering would be like this. Now I wonder what other terrible things happened because of me. All because I thought I could save an another individual from another daedric prince. I wonder now if sparing each priest that the daedra had asked me to lure to their deaths has caused any dismay in their lives." I said without thinking.

"... You shouldn't think that way, you did what you thought was right."

"That's a terrible justification. Whether I thought it was the right thing to do or not, there is always a right answer." I said curtly, as I heard him take a breath in to speak again I heard the door open and a few crunching footsteps.

"Miraak says he can translate the Mysterium Xarxes. He says he's willing to help us under some debatable conditions."

"And what conditions would that be?" Martin asked curiously.

"I think it'd be best for you to have him explain, they're quite odd." Ilazki seemed a bit uncomfortable, what had Miraak asked? This took my attention from the snow to glance at them, what could Miraak possibly want from them? Had he learned something in Apocrypha that he had intended in meddling with the past. I stood up and followed the two inside. My thoughts swirling with all the possibilities of how Miraak could sabotage us. As we entered the main hall Miraak looked up and smiled before reading a line from the book, as if to entice them with his ability to read daedric with ease.

"When I walk the earth again the faithful among you shall rise above all other mortals forever, a reward to be set. As for the rest the weak shall be winnowed the timid shall be cast down the, mighty shall tremble at my feet and beg for pardon." Miraak had ignored the uneasy feeling from everyone around us and placed the book down on the table beside him before continuing. "If you wish for my help the price is simple. Let me light the dragonfires, you can have your throne and the amulet back once I have rid the world of Dagon."

 _But he turned into a dragon god!_

Sheogoraths words came to mind once more. Everyone around me was confused but I glared at Miraak, knowing full well what he had meant.

"No." I said simply, crossing my arms as I approached him. He regarded me with interest before asking why. I spoke again, "I'm sure you are well aware of why I would disagree, that is Martin's duty, not yours."

"And what is the harm? It would take care of your issue with the Thalmor, without them Skyrim would belong to the nords, and it would save you the trouble of having to Assassinate Emperor Tideus Mede II." Miraak's words made the air cold. He came over to me, encircling me just as he did when we first met in Apocrypha. "From the looks your receiving I can see you haven't told them of your infamous history, dragonborn." He looked at me, smiling, daring me to contradict anything he said. I wondered how to respond for a moment, I hadn't remembered assassinating an emperor? Had this happened after we escaped? Ilazki spoke up, irritation dripping through her voice.

"I'm not sure what your deal is with each other, but there is a crisis going on right now. I don't care what happens in the future where. I care about what happens _now._ If we don't do something to get the Amulet back there might not be a future. From where I stand the future isn't set in stone. If we don't act, Dagon will have succeeded. If he wants to light the dragonfires, fine. Our goal right now is not to let Dagon win." Everyone seemed to agree with her but sent me cold stares. I looked over at Miraak, he had thought this through. What had he skipped over when he told of his time in Apocrypha. It was obvious that we both had all our memories before leaving Apocrypha, but anything that came after seemed blurred, did I really assassinate Emperor Tideus Mede II? Or was this part of some elaborate plan of his to get the others to appeal to him. Soon another memory resurfaced.

 _I found myself looking out the open window just as the rain began to beat against the pane, water splashing it's way inside. I felt numb, the water began to make a puddle around me. I heard heavy footsteps coming, stopping just at the doorway._

 _"Dovahkiin, we can't waste our time here." Miraak spoke softly, as if attempting to seem comforting, but his words were insulting._

 _"You've got your freedom now, now just let me be..." I said unmoving, watching the water slowly pool around me. Miraak went to close the window before coming over to me. He stood in front of me and told me to get up, I ignored him and continued to let my mind destroy itself. I saw him sit next to me, saying nothing. I leaned into him for comfort, I expected him to push me away and call me weak but he did nothing. I wondered for a moment if he was just waiting for me to feel ashamed of letting myself sit here in self pity. I let out a small ragged sigh as I began to pull away. I felt his arm snake it's way around me and he held me there, not letting me go. He still said nothing, I glanced up at him. He was watching the rain hit the glass, his face blank. I buried my face in the crook of his arm and let myself sob._

 _I wasn't sure when I had calmed but when I did I noticed he was running his fingers softly in small circles on the base of my scalp._

 _"Are you ready now?" He asked, his voice barely over a whisper. He looked at me with annoyance, yet I still smiled. He was utterly irritated by me and yet this small gesture meant everything to me._

 **A/N:** Here's another chapter! I hope you all like it!

 **Hija de la Tempestad:**

Really? That's awesome! My original idea for this story was to have a real world person get stuck in the game and realize that the real world was just another plane but I decided against it because I wasn't really feeling it. Like I liked the concept but I figured I'd get bored of it eventually and just ditch it. That and no one really reads those types of fics these days. And thanks, I'm glad you like my writing, I'm always wondering if it ever gets confusing because sometimes I'm really bad at putting my ideas into words

 **KiyoshiWakeshima:**

Thank you! :D


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I sat at the table, the soothing crackling of the hearth was the only sounds that filled the room, I stared at the bowl of cabbage soup in front of me, I knew I should be eating, I would be leaving soon with Ilazki to deal with some spies, and yet, I couldn't stop thinking about what Miraak had said. I know I had joined the Stormcloaks but, to kill the emperor? Why didn't this jog any new memories? Had he been lying? I looked up to see Miraak sitting across the table, intently reading some book that had nothing to do with the Mysterium Xarxes, which he had discarded into a pile of a few other books he had read. He had said nothing of what the Xarxes had to offer, I suppose he was waiting for someone to ask. Figures, he would go out of his way only when it meant he would be in power at the end.

"Shouldn't you be translating the Xarxes?" I asked, taking the bate he had lain before me. He turned a page intently before answering.

"I grew bored with Mehrunes little antics of politics." He said simply. I clutched the spoon in my hand in annoyance. That bastard, I was half tempted to throw my spoon at him in frustration, but I knew that would get me nowhere. I decided to begin eating the soup.

I heard the door open and some soft footsteps coming over before hearing Martin's voice. He asked the same question I had just asked. I expected Miraak to brush him off but instead he offered Martin a confident smile before closing his current book and opening the Mysterium Xarxes.

"It says you will need four items, one for each hand." He explained. I could feel my irritation percolating inside me as he so casually talked about his progress. I tried to ignore the irritation and just continued to eat as I listened to him read aloud.

"In my first hand, a storm. In the second, the rush of plagued rain. In the third all the Tinder of Anu. The fourth, the very Eyes of Padomay." Miraak closed the book and looked at Martin intently. Martin let the information sink in and confusion laced his face after this as he began to contemplate its meaning. Martin placed his hand under his chin in deep thought, I looked over at Miraak who watched him, like a hawk watches a mouse. He was testing Martin, to see what knowledge he held.

I let out an ironic chuckle, of course he would test him. Miraak looked at me unamused yet, there was something else in there. Why had I expected anything different from Miraak.

"Padomay, the quintessential form of change. The khajiit called him Fadomai if I remember correctly." I said, successfully irking Miraak.

"Yes of course..." Martin trailed off into his thoughts. He gave us both a courteous smile before excusing himself in a rush. Most likely to tell Jauffre and Ilazki of this epiphany he must have had.

"I was unaware you were knowledgeable in such things."

"You're such a pompous prick, you know that?" I crossed my arms in anger. "Why couldn't you just say you had already deciphered it instead of telling me you grew bored with it?" I demanded, but I didn't let him speak. "I've had it with you and your stupid antics. You want to ruin Tamriel, fine. I don't care anymore. I'm leaving!" I declared.

"And where will you go?" He looked at me with mockery.

"...Perhaps I will pay Hermaeus Mora a visit." I said callously. This seemed to invoke him and he stood up, his expression deadly.

"Davahkiin it will be your death. Why must you always be so impulsive?" He looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"Why don't you trust me?" I countered, not answering his question. He said nothing so I continued. "I remembered something new yesterday, although seeing how your being now, perhaps it's best to forget about it all together." I said in anger, this didn't phase him, just as I suspected. I turned to leave, but as I reached the door Ilazki came in from the east wing and called out to me.

"We have business in Bruma. Bring-" Ilazki started as I ignored her, leaving through the door, I was done playing hero. I heard the door burst open.

"Hey! Don't ignore me!" Ilzaki shouted with outrage. She quickly caught up and stopped in front of me with a dagger pointed at me.

"I understand this crisis has stirred you, but this is not my battle. It's not my problem, it never was." I waited for her response, her grip tightened on the dagger, turning her knuckles white.

"Don't think for a second that you understand this crisis. Dagon is trying to take over and that somehow means _nothing_ to you. The future is not for certain, you have this odd idea that because your history tells we won it is certain. But it's _not._ Anything can happen because it is happening _now_. You being here could change the very course of how everything will happen. I don't know what your problem is but you need to be mature and stop being such a child." She lowered her dagger but did not put it away. I scoffed at her, I would have to concede to her dictations because despite my vexation, she was right. Nothing was set anymore, Miraak's presence surely wouldn't keep things as they should be either.

"What do you need from me then." I asked. She put away her weapon and thought for a moment before we were interrupted by Jauffre.

"I think it'd be best to keep her here for now." His sudden presences nearly made me let out an undignified yelp of surprise. When had he come out? Before Ilazki could protest Jauffre explained my presence would be needed today. He was vague about the details.

"There has been an important matter that has been brought to my attention." Was all that Jauffre said. I shrugged off the odd feeling or paranoia I was getting and followed Jauffre back into the complex. Ilazki was off to Bruma doing whatever task she had been assigned. I was lead to Jauffre's office, both Miraak and Martin stood opposite of each other. Martin seemed worried and confused, Miraak wore a blank expression. Upon seeing me he gave me a haughty smile. Jauffre closed the door behind us before he began to fill me in on the details of the subject.

"As you know, the Amulet of Kings can only be worn by a dragonborn. Miraak has stated that when Mankar Camoran ascended into Paradise he was wearing the amulet. Which is impossible, he should not be able to wear it-"

"Unless he were dragonborn." I finished the sentence for him. Now I could understand why he was worried. I looked over at Miraak.

"In his commentaries there was a line." He must have said something to them to keep me from leaving. How typical. " _When my voice returned, it spoke in another tongue. After three nights I could speak fire._ " He recited.

"So he could speak fire, big deal. The greybeards aren't dragonborn and they can use the thu'um as well. Maybe being in his crazed state with Dagon brought some sort of knowledge after all." I countered. "But I suppose that doesn't explain why he can wear the Amulet." I admitted. Then I remembered when I was at Weynon Priory. I had heard Miraak's voice when he fled. Was that really his voice? I waited until we were dismissed. It would be my task to help Martin and Miraak translate the meaning behind the vague description of items. It shouldn't be that hard right?

I followed Miraak to the main room where he began reading another book

"I believe you've already mentioned this before, back when you took the Amulet at Weynon priory." I said, his face contorted into confusion.

"What nonsense are you speaking now dovahkiin?" He seemed genuinely confused but I didn't believe it. It had to be a ruse.

"Or when I first awoke here, I heard your voice. Do not deny it." I scolded him.

"You are going mad, if you think I was the one who spoke to you." He concluded, but instead of his usual arrogant tone he sounded a bit paranoid. I started to rethink the accusation. What if it really wasn't him? Who else could it be? Perhaps I really was going crazy... There was a worried look that crossed Miraak's face, I simply brushed off the subject by agreeing that perhaps I was hearing things, but he didn't accept that as a valid answer. He began questioning me again. I was in no mood for his constant questioning.

"Look it doesn't matter, I told you already, maybe I was just hearing things. I'm done with this subject." I quickly left and wondered the complex, it wasn't long before I ran into Martin, he had been walking with a book in his hand. I didn't see him until it was too late.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you." I said as I helped him pick up the books he dropped.

"No the fault is mine, I should have been paying attention to where I was going." Martin said as he collected the books from my hands. I noticed the Xarxes amount the pile he had dropped. He noticed my confused gaze and began to explain.

"The translation from Miraak was quite literal, helpful but I believe that there is more to it than what he was able to construed." Said Martin.

"Or he was able to and he was just being a brat about translating." I added. This earned me a small chuckle from Martin, his warm voice was pleasant on my ears.

"I suppose that could be, I don't know him well enough to judge."

"Maybe I can help." I offered. Martin smiled and told it it was unnecessary.

"I wouldn't want to impose."

"Your not imposing. Jauffre did suggest that we work together on this."

 _He doesn't want to work with a murderer. What priest would?_

I heard Miraak's voice again. Was he really... I pushed the thoughts aside. What did it matter what he thought. If he can't translate this thing he wont be able to get the amulet back, and if that happens Mehrunes might actually win this time around.

Martin smiled gratefully and lead us to the main hall, we sat together and he told me what he had gathered from the clues from the Xarxes and from what Miraak Translated.

"This is what Miraak had translated here, but around it are other symbols which also add meaning to the clues. Here it says _'mother to destruction'_ just over the first clue. This isn't talking about a literal storm, this is chaos itself, the very essence of a daedra. This also connects to the second clue."

"How do you figure that?" I looked at him skeptically.

"... Certain experiences." He said simply.

"During the time your weren't a priest I assume." I looked over at him, his eyes pained. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you were a cultist. A dragonborn will always crave knowledge and power." I said with mirth. He didn't say anything after that. We both sat there in silence for a moment before I broke that silence.

"For the second clue, _'the rush of plagued rain.'_ Do you think that could be talking about the blood of... Whatever _plagued rain_ could be?" I asked, redirecting the subject. He looked over it thoughtfully.

"Perhaps..." He began reading the Xarxes again. I looked up to the sound of soft footsteps.

"Each item is the others opposite. I expected no less from Martin to easily figure out such a simple clue." Miraak seemed to be boasting, like it was his achievement.

"If you know what they are why not just tell us. The quicker we know the better."

"I do not hold all the answers dovahkiin. You will not be able to obtain these items so easily."

"Well what are they. What do you know that we don't?"

"The first as you've discovered, is the blood of a Daedra Lord, the second is the blood of a Divine. Why not focus on how you plan on obtaining those two for now. They will not come easy."

"Yeah sure."

"He may have a point, essentially we will be looking for artifacts. The daedra all have artifacts but the gods have no artifacts and do not physically manifest themselves in our world." Martin said with a bit of frustration at the end.

"What about the brush of Dibella, that's supposed to be made out of her hair isn't it?" My words confused Martin, I suppose it wasn't a well known fact yet.

"Anything used for the ritual will be destroyed, are you sure you would want to deprive Tamriel of such arts?" Miraak interjected. I looked down in dismay.

"... If Mankar Camoran opened this portal, maybe we are over thinking this one. We are all dragonborn, we all have the blood of Akatosh within us do we not? If he is dragonborn wouldn't it make sense for us to just-"

"We are the children of Akatosh, not Akatosh himself. It will not work." Miraak interrupted. I rolled my eyes at him. Martin reached over and put his hand over my arm reassuringly, I gave him a small smile. Martin was sweet, just as a priest should be. I wondered if Miraak lit the dragonfires, would Martin survive to become emperor? I looked away, it was unlikely. This thought alone saddened me, I didn't want to get close to him. I had been avoiding any deep heartfelt conversations because of that fact alone.

"Well until we can what is going on, perhaps we should talk about where to find the first item."

"Yes, perhaps you can have another drunkard adventure with Sanguine." Miraak suggested with distaste. I immediately recoiled in anger as the memory quickly delved into my mind. I remembered that night well. The mere mention of that night was infuriating. That was the night he had told me how much he regretted leaving Apocrypha with me. That I was too much of a naive child to ever understand anything. I had decided not to let my frustration on the matter show, surely he only brought it up to provoke me. So instead I smiled.

"How unfortunate that I don't know where his shrine is then." I said politely, but it the undertone was sharp and livid. I quickly left the room to find Jauffre. Perhaps filling him in on the matter would give me a good place to start my search. The thought of Miraak's face of disdain when I replied to his snide comment brought me a small joy from subtle victory.

 **A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I'm so glad you like this story so far! Updates are still kinda slow I know, I'll be able to update regularly after mid May. I've been busy sewing stuff for a con. I woke up sick today so I decided since I was too sick to sew, I might as well update this story haha

Hija de la Tempestad: Yes smug Miraak is the best xD I can't agree more on that. I love Oblivion so much. I keep telling myself I should write a Skyrim or Morrowind fic but I just keep landing my ideas around Oblivion. I have a problem xD

KiyoshiWakeshima: I haven't seen very many time travel fics either, I remember for a while back I tried looking for some but only found two abandoned stories. It made me so sad!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I stared out of the window in the main hall, I was waiting for Jauffre to send me off somewhere on some menial task. Miraak and Martin were called to Jauffre's office when a blade Ilazki had sent arrived with a letter. I looked to the front entrance wondering, should I just go? I didn't want to be here with the blades anyway. Miraak seemed to have no interest in learning his lost memories as I did. Perhaps I could find a skilled mage, I had no plans to get chummy with anyone here, for all I knew they could all die, and then how would that grief serve me? It wouldn't.

I sighed as I left Jauffre's office, I was to be a simple errand girl. I needed to fetch more information on deadric shrines, specifically, to retrieve a list of books pertaining to Daedra so that when Ilazki has finished dealing with the spies she will have resources ready for her next task. I considered refusing the grandmaster, but I decided I would go through with this menial task. Perhaps this will help me find solace for my current predicament. If not, this will at least distract me for a bit.

I casually passed the blades, not really paying any mind to them as they regarded me with a brief look of disparagement. For a moment, I wondered if it was from my proclamation yesterday to Miraak about Sanguine. When I reached the end of the hall I looked over to the door. I suppose now would be as good a time as any to round up those books. Jauffre said there was a Mage's Guild in Bruma, not far from here, that would be the best way to start my search.

I left promptly in the direction of Bruma, the Jerall Mountains, wasn't Riften just north of here? I vaguely wondered if how much the Oblivion Crisis was affecting Skyrim. I pushed the thoughts from my head, this Oblivion Crisis was only a temporary problem. Everything would resolve, I just needed to figure out why I was here, or how I'd gotten here, and get back.

A few hours after I found myself at the gates of Bruma. I could see the sun was beginning to set. I decided to explore for a bit and found myself at an Inn called Olav's Tap and Tack, I had planned to ask someone where the Mage's Guild was but was approached by an Imperial man.

"I've been waiting for you." He said with an odd smile. I looked at him confused but before I could ask him anything he spoke again. "My master has summoned you, our encounter was fated. Make your way to his shrine." He handed me a folded paper and left the Inn so quickly I wasn't sure our encounter actually happened. Well that was odd? I shoved the paper in my pocket and made my way to the Inn Keeper.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you point me to the Mage's Guild." I asked, he didn't look very happy but gave me vague directions before completely ignoring me. I quickly left the Inn but as I opened the door I ran into Ilazki. She looked up surprised to see me.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm supposed to be finding you some books about Daedra." I said simply. She looked confused and pulled me back into the inn. She brought me to her room and she sat down on the bed and asked me why I was gathering daedra books.

"We need to gather ingredients to perform a ritual to enter Mankar Cameron's Paradise to retrieve the amulet. The first ingredient is basically a daedric artifact. Any daedric artifact, so we need to find one of the shrines."

"Well... That certainly is something... Although, I won't need you to find me any books on daedra, most people know where Azura's shrine is located. You can go back in the morning to tell Jauffre I'm on my way to retrieve the artifact and, if you could give him this..." She pulled out a folded letter from her pocket. I simply put it in my pocket.

"If I leave now I should be back there before it gets too late."

"I'm not sure that's such a-"

"I'll be fine, these mountains are not as perilous as the mountains of Skyrim." I left before she could protest anymore. Maybe staying wouldn't have been so bad? It sure would have been great to eat something... On my way out of the Inn I swiped some bread from the table without anyone noticing before leaving. I began to eat it on my way to the gate.

The temperature dropped rapidly as I made my way back to Cloud Ruler Temple. I was a bit irritated that I was being used as some little courier, this whole task to retrieve daedra books seemed so... Ugh... I didn't want to think about it.

When I made it to the gates the moonlight was the only thing that lit the icy stairs. As I neared the front door I noticed Miraak outside on the training grounds. He was just sitting there, meditating, I assumed. I approached him but stopped a few feet away. He didn't seem to notice me, or if he did, he simply didn't care to acknowledge my presence. I suddenly remembered that odd encounter with that imperial. I decided not to disturb Miraak and instead made my way inside. I saw Martin studying the Xarxes in the table of the main hall. I took the letter meant for jauffre out, and the folded paper I had received at the Inn fell out as well. Curious, I opened it.

 _Ri'Jirr will be awaiting your arrival at my master's shrine, located on a remote plateau in the northwestern parts of the Jerall Mountains. Close to the border of Skyrim. Come alone._

A shrine? I shrugged it off and shoved the note into my pocket and made my way to Jauffre's office. There was no one there, I suppose it was a bit late, perhaps he's getting ready for bed? I decided to ask the nearest blade for Jauffre's whereabouts. I was told he was in the dining hall, I quickly made my way there and sure enough there he was just finishing a meal. I quickly made my way over.

"Jauffre, Ilazki wanted me to give you this and to let you know she has gone to retrieve Azura's artifact." He nodded, taking the letter from me and I quickly left to the living quarters. I found Miraak was also there, I contemplated telling him about the note before I remembered the insult he gave me yesterday. I was still sour about the matter and decided not to utter a word about the note. I ignored his presence and laid in my bedroll, waiting for sleep to claim my mind.

"You shouldn't be so petty dragonborn, if you wish to speak, then speak." I heard him. I rolled my eyes and said nothing. So he didn't like the silent treatment? Well it serves him right after what he told me yesterday. I ignored him and closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to take my mind away to that sweet abyss.

The next morning I made my way to the dining hall, I sat alone and thought about that note yesterday. Should I go? It seemed suspicious and all, but I was perfectly capable should this be some trap. I felt someone sit next to me, I half expected it to be Miraak but it was Martin. I offered a warm smile, he looked tired, I wondered if he'd had a good nights rest.

"Good morning, I trust you rested well." He said. I nodded and looked back at my food, I hadn't really been rearranging it, I had just been moving bits around the plate, contemplating on what to do.

"If you got a suspicious note, would you tell someone, even if you were perfectly capable of dealing with it yourself?" I asked, not really thinking. I immediately regretted saying anything but before I could take it back he spoke again.

"Perhaps it would be best to tell someone if you feel threatened." He said calmly.

"I don't feel threatened, just... suspicious." Our conversation was quickly interrupted by Jauffre.

"I have a task for you today, I need to to relay a message to the countess in Bruma." Jauffre seemed uneasy, I pouted.

"I have a personal errand I need to take care of, but I'm sure Miraak could go see the countess."

"... Very well then." He seemed disappointed at my refusal but didn't say anything about it.

"I don't think this wise, if you feel suspicious-"

"I'll be fine. It's still in this general area so I wont be too long... How's deciphering the Xarxes going?"

"It's been difficult, though Miraak can read the passages themselves they are cryptic."

"Well, I'm sure you can decipher it, you've already deciphered two of the needed items. That's already half." My optimism didn't seem to reach him, he shifted his gaze to the plate before him.

"I hope you're right."

"You're the greatest Septim that's ever lived." I didn't really mean to say that out loud and I inhaled sharply when he looked over at me with surprise, red with embarrassment, I quickly excused myself and left the room as fast as possible. I just made a fool of myself. I _t_ ook a deep breath and swore to myself, never to quote another daedric prince again, even if it seemed encouraging at the moment.

In my rush I ran straight into Miraak, he looked at me with a blank expression, I could still the warmth in my face as I looked up, I quickly averted my gaze and felt instant irritation. My embarrassment now a distant memory, before I could leave he pulled me aside.

"If your still interested in your memories I have something that may help you." He didn't use his usual smug tone, instead it was mono-toned and he handed me a journal... Was this my journal? Before I could ask him anything he pushed past me. I opened it looking for a name but this wasn't my journal, this was his. I didn't understand? If he had this, why didn't he recognize me at Weynon Priory? Shouldn't this have helped him piece everything together? I opened it and skimmed through the pages, looking for something pertaining to me, I quickly realized this was a fairly new diary. Everything written was something he remembered. Maybe he was interested in remembering? Or this was some sort of obsessive habit to document things...

 _Last Seed 29, Middas_

 _Tomorrow is the ritual I am to partake in with another new recruit. I wasn't interested in the details, once I find no further information I plan to leave this cult, they are all beneath me. Even the daedric prince they serve..._

 _They seemed to have acquired more than necessary. They say there was a meddlesome girl they brought along with the argonian priest, they claimed she was an enemy of Dagon as well. If she was as meddlesome as they claimed they should have just killed her where she stood instead of bringing her here. I suppose it's all the same..._

 _This girl, she was the same one from the priory we raided, something about her feels familiar, those stubborn cerulean orbs. Where have I seen them before? I need more information, perhaps I will sabotage the ceremony and show them what a true shout is..._

 _Haerthfire 1, fredas_

 _It seems the pages of the Mysterium Xarxes have triggered more defined memories. I remembered I was with the last dragonborn, in her home. She was in critical condition from a foolish endeavor. She was pulled into a cult and instead of killing the ring leader she was coaxed into believing she was clearing the scum from Skyrim. Her last contract was for the emperor, but she was deceived. The cult leader seemed to have conspired with the imperial court and devised a plan to eliminate Astra and she barely escaped. Had I not found that day, she would have surely perished._

 _Days went by before she was finally strong enough to move on her own. I was unaware then that there was anything other than sarcasm and intractability in her. Her words during that time were the most memorable._

 _"If you stay here with me, he might find us, you need to find the other dwemer artifacts without me."_

 _Anything after that refuses to resurface. I need more Information._

The one line was underlined in red. Was this the passage I needed to see? Or was there more? I closed the journal, unsure how to process this new information. I tried to remember but all that came was a strange warm feeling in my face and a small tender moment we shared.

 _"Naak dovahdin." Miraak said softly to me, I was leaning against him, I felt cold but also felt an unbearable heat radiating off of me. I felt like I was suffocating. I was coherent enough to understand him today, he brought the bowl of warm soup to my face. I accepted it but when He took the bowl away I faintly spoke._

 _"Zu'u viir..." I said hopelessly_

 _"Nid. You just need rest." He denied,but I knew better, some days I would hear him trying to wake me up after being asleep for days. I would try my hardest to wake but everything always faded._

 _"Why are you being so nice to me? I thought you hated me."_

 _"Perhaps I am simply waiting to devour your soul, lok dii." He said this so casually yet, instead of invoking anger I felt my face flush with embarrassment, he had never called me such a thing before now. Did I actually mean something to him? Or was he just manipulating me at my most vulnerable?I quickly responded, trying not to sound flustered._

 _"S-shut up!" I dared not to look up at him, but I could feel his gaze. Suddenly I felt another wave of fatigue. I instinctively reached for Miraak's robes to try and steady myself before everything started to blur away._

I felt a strange sensation swell in my chest, I looked to where Miraak had gone, he seemed to be talking with Martin about something. Martin noticed my stare and soon Miraak followed his gaze, when Miraak caught my gaze I heard his voice.

 _Zii los lokdii dovahkiin._

I felt my face instantly redden and I looked away, quickly walking to the front door. Why was I reacting this way? All this because of a stupid memory? That can't be right... Perhaps I was simply getting sick. Yes, that sounds much more plausible.

 **A/N:** I'm not gonna lie, I forgot about this story haha but only because I had a writer's block for a bit and then focused on other stuff for a bit. But I plan to work on this a lot this week.

 _Naak dovahdin – eat dragon maiden_

 _Zu'u viir – I'm dying_

 _Nid – No_

 _Zii los lokdii dovahkiin – You are my sky dragonborn_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I hide myself in the stables, I should have been leaving but instead I had decided to cower in here. I opened the journal again to look it over again, there was a page missing page at the end of the ones I had read? Perhaps Miraak had changed his mind about sharing that one before handing this one off to me. I sighed and dug the note from my pocket and looked it over again as I placed it to rest on the open journal, why was I supposed to come alone?

 _...Our encounter was fated_

What did he mean by that? Maybe I'm just over-thinking this. He said it was shrine, maybe he was just a cultist of sorts. I've dealt with cultists before, surely this was no different. I'm simply over reacting to this. I heard the door open and I quickly closed the journal as I looked at the open door. Miraak? He had a fur cloak over his usual robes and he eyed me with irritation.

"I was told you had left to do your errand, had I of known your errand was simply to cower in here I would have had someone fetch you." His words ignited instant ire inside. I stood up and didn't bother answering him, instead, I responded by throwing the journal at him and taking the horse I had readied for my journey and left without even a glance towards him. As I left the stable I pulled the reins of the horse to lead it in the direction of the exit and descended the stairs. Once at the bottom I urged the horse into a fast trot.

The nerve of him, it's as if he simply cant grasp the idea that his arrogance is a bother to anyone. I headed to the northwestern parts of the mountains. I tried to keep my mind focused on the task at hand but couldn't help but let my mind wonder back to the journal. I had let my anger get the best of me before I was truly done with the thing. I sighed, I suppose those previous entries I had skipped over weren't that pressing, after all it was only two pages and by the sound of the entries I had read before he had no memory of me to begin with so those entries probably couldn't trigger another memory of mine.

After a few hours of traveling I had come across a plateau, was this where I needed to be? I looked around for a path but only found a steep pathway. I doubt the horse would be able to climb that... I sighed and searched for the note again, to double check if I was even on the right track. I couldn't find the note in any of my pockets. I froze at the realization, I had the note on the journal before I had closed it and threw it. I let out an aggravated sigh, damn my temper, I had just lost the one thing that would help me reach this stupid shrine. I covered my face with my hands as I took in a deep breath to calm the inner irritation at my actions. I let my hands fall to my side, well I suppose now I have to rely solely on my memory. I jumped down from the horse and made my way up the slope. If this wasn't it the higher ground may help spot where I am to go.

I ran into a few bothersome wolves, one of them lunged up at me, teeth bared, I stumbled a bit on the slippery path and lost my footing and fell back giving the wolf the opportunity to bite down hard on my defending arm. I winced at the pain and shoved my arm deeper into it's mouth forcing it to let go momentarily as it gagged. I quickly pulled a dagger out and struck the wolf, it cried out in a whimper and the other wolves jumped in to help their fellow pack member. I made quick work of the first wolf before avoiding the next few bites from the other two wolves. I stabbed the next one in the neck but as it flinched away I lost my grip on the dagger, blood from the first wolf making it slippery. I stood up annoyed as the daggerless wolf lunged at me, biting the leather of my armor before violently shaking its head in an attempt to tear it. The next wolf attacked and succeeded in breaching the leather armor on my thigh. I winced and had enough of this. I pulled the bloodied dagger from the wolf and shouted.

"Fus Ro Dah!" Both wolves were thrown across the slipper ice and snow, one wolf had an unfortunate end and hit a jagged boulder. The animal writhed in pain, crying out as it spasmed on the floor dying. The other wolf was much more fortunate and only rolled down the path and was only disorientated by throw. When it heard the dying cries of the other it quickly came back up to investigate. I hastily made an escape, I felt a tug of guilt for leaving the animal to suffer like that, but if I went back I would have to kill the other one as well. I looked back when I was a bit farther and the wolf seemed to be trying to sooth the other's pain. I quickly looked away and continued my way up the path.

I soon made it to the Shrine, there seemed to be a few people surrounding a shrine, I froze when I saw the statue atop of the pedestal. No one had seen me yet, I could still turn back...

 _Had I of known your errand was simply to cower in here I would have had someone fetch you._

I clenched my hands into fists at the memory of those burning words. I was no coward. I stood up straight and made my way to the shrine of Hermaeus Mora. A khajiit man noticed my presence and cleared his throat as I approached. Two others, a dunmer woman, and an imperial man, looked up towards me and smiled. The khajiit spoke first.

"Ri'jirr welcomes you traveler. My master has been expecting you." He said with a purr. I eyed him cautiously as I slowly approached the statue, I noticed three candles were lit and a few offerings. I looked back at the other two who simply made their way to a bench behind a small podium, the khajiit, Ri'jirr, joined them and sat down in prayer. I looked at them oddly and looked back up at the statue confused. Then I heard a voice.

"Dragonborn, we meet again." The voice of Hermaeus Mora filled my head, almost painfully, I didn't respond, I simply waited for the daedric prince to tell me what he wanted. "Though you are not pleased to see me again my champion, I knew you would come. Curious as you are, how could you not? I have summoned you here to offer you something. You are searching for your memories correct?"  
I looked up at the statue surprised. "In exchange, you must bring me the treacherous blood you promised me." I felt my blood run cold. Was he talking about Miraak? I then felt an intense sharp pain in my head, a pain so intense I was brought to my knees as I cried out.

My vision warped for a moment before I something etched into the statue before me, I couldn't focus on them and instead noticed the inky tentacles wrapping around my neck, constricting around me in a suffocating manor. Soon everything faded into white.

The irritation in my throat caused me to cough, awaking me. I stared at the clouded skies in confusion... Where..? I looked around weakly I was next to my horse at the bottom of the path I had first gone up. I tried to stand but felt a burning pain in my arm, I looked down at it, the wolf bite. It must be infected. Lovely. I sighed as I got to my feet, but the world seemed to spin and I found myself on all fours with a pain shooting up my arm. My vision blurred for a moment as the intense pain surged through me. I let myself sit there a moment as I contemplated what to do. I couldn't let this fester, but it seemed I couldn't get to my feet without losing my barings. I felt nauseated as I become more and more aware of the cold around me. I looked at the reins hanging from the horse and an idea came to mind. I pulled on the reins, urging the horse to kneel down and as it did so I crawled over and forced myself up. I held onto the animal as the world around me spun uncontrollably. Once everything cleared I pulled on the reins again to make the horse stand. Again, I held on trying not to succumb to the weakness in my body. I succeeded and made the horse go on a slow trot. I leaned forward onto the horse as another wave of nausea hit me.

I heard another horse in the distance, running, I ignored it until I noticed the sounds of crunching snow getting closer. I weakly looked up to see a cloaked figure on a horse, I recognized the horse from the stable in Cloud Ruler Temple. Oh no. I forced myself to sit up straight and looked at their face a bit surprised, I noticed two other horses, their riders had cloaks as well. I was confused. The first cloaked figure spoke.

"I'm relieved to see you in one piece." Martin asked. I was surprised he left the safety of Cloud Ruler Temple just to search for me. I looked over at the other cloaked riders, they must be Blades. I smirked and tried to play it off as I was fine.

"Of course I'm in one piece, what else did you expect of me?" I said non nonchalantly. He simply smiled at my response and turned his horse around, the wind blew his hood down along with stray hairs. The determination in his eyes and the way he carried himself with confidence in that moment, if he looked as an Emperor should.

We all headed back to Cloud Ruler temple. I needed to heal the festering wound, but I told myself I'd be fine. I wanted to go to Bruma and keep this discreet. I felt ridiculous, like a child sneaking about. I stubbornly kept up the charade anyway. We all urged the horses to go faster, but the rocking of the horse challenged my endurance of keeping everything in my mind from crumbling.

We made it to the temple in just under an hour, by then I was sure I looked just as I felt. I hesitated getting off the horse, I knew I couldn't keep going like this without collapsing again.

"You look ill, are you alright?" Martin asked. I looked over and smiled weakly trying to assure him I was fine but he saw right through it. I carefully got down, the horse seemed to remember how weak I was and began to kneel. I gratefully patted the horse and I finally answered.

"Not really." I said as I tried to keep myself standing.

I was taken inside but I could hardly focus anymore, everything was spinning but then something odd happened. When Martin grabbed my arm to inspect it, instead of simply seeing his hands, I saw the same inky tentacles grab hold of me. I jolted away and the tentacle disappeared. When I realized it was only a hallucination I apologized and offered my arm again, I almost couldn't feel the pain from the restoration spell he used. The voices around me seemed muffled, soon I realized Martin was saying something but I didn't understand. I looked up at him only to be startled by the momentary face of a Seeker. My mind was playing tricks on me. I could feel my chest tightened and the nauseating feeling coming in waves. I tried to focus my attention on the healing wound but instead everything faded and only a voice kept me company.

 _Fight him dovahkiin, dahmaan zii'l rek. Neh liivrah._

I opened my eyes but found myself looking at the ceiling, as my vision cleared I noticed we were in the healing ward. How did I get here? I tried to remember what happened last but heard the door open, interrupting my thoughts. I looked over to the door, Ilazki and Martin had come in. Ilazki? Wasn't she out doing an errand? How was she back so early? I sat up as they both seated themselves next to me and Ilazki was the first to speak.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Okay I suppose... What happened? I thought you were going to retrieve the Daedric Artifact?" I asked confused. She seemed to laugh at first but her eyes seemed worried.

"I did, but... Astra..." She started but another voice interrupted her.

"You've been unconscious for two months." I was a bit startled to hear Miraak. I looked over to see him entering the room quietly, I caught the accusing glare he sent me and I looked away. I decided to test my strength and stand. I felt a bit light headed but it wasn't anything serious.

"What have I missed?" I asked Ilazki, Martin told me I should be resting but I stubbornly declined.

"What exactly was that errand you had to do?" Miraak asked. All eyes were on me, I knew if I told him I had gone to see Hermaeus Mora he would be cross.

"I was invited to a Daedric Shrine I guess, I went to investigate. Obviously it was a bad idea." I answered plainly, a pain began to eat away at my mind, I didn't catch what was said next. Then I felt a tentacle grab my arm, I inhaled sharply as I flinched away. I quickly realized it was simply another delusion. I quickly calmed my demeanor and turned away.

"Don't do that." I mildly scolded.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ilazki asked. I didn't answer, I simply stared at my shaking hands. What did that bastard do to me? Why was I seeing these things? I needed answers.

 **A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. The next chapter should be coming soon so keep your eyes peeled for that! :D

 **translation**

 _dahmaan zii'l rek. Neh liivrah – remember yourself. Never surrender._


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I lay awake in my bedroll staring at the wooden ceiling above, I could feel the draft coming in from the small cracks in the ground and heard the merciless wind scrapping across the walls outside. I rolled over and looked across the dark room, I seemed to be the only one awake this late. I could feel how exhausted I was but I simply could not fall asleep, I kept having strange and disturbing dreams. Was this from the shrine visit? Did I really make it to the shrine?

I sighed and sat up and gazed at my shaking hands, I could only make out the soft silhouette of my fingers. Then I heard something strange. I looked to the source and swore I saw a shadow quickly scurry across the room. I placed my hand over my forehead in frustration. I had been hallucinating since I woke in the healing ward. I looked over at Miraak's sleeping form, did he have these same delusions? If he did, how was he able to tolerate Apocrypha for so long? I suddenly had an odd understanding of why he had used those pillars at his temple. He must have simply wanted all this to end.

I felt a sharp pain shoot through my whole body suddenly and I let out a strangled cry, I heard a strange growl behind me, I quickly jerked away as I turned to see behind me, but again, there was nothing there. Was my mind simply playing tricks on me? I stood up and looked around warily, I heard some rustling next to me I turned ready to attack but it was Miraak. I must have woken him when I cried out in pain. I didn't let myself relax, but I awkwardly sat down in my bedroll, trying not to seem to odd. This had been the 4th night in a row that I had caused a disturbance.

"I apologize, I didn't mean to wake you." I said meekly. He didn't say anything, but I felt his gaze, studying me. I looked over at him, I couldn't make out his expression but I was sure he was not happy with my disturbance. Against my better judgment I moved closer to him, he followed my movements and I wondered what he thought of all this. I felt guilt in not listening to Martin when he suggested I open up about the note I had received. I could have avoided going all together had I known it was Hermaeus Mora's Shrine. I felt myself shiver at the memory of that visit, I was miserable.

"Am I to expect I will not be getting any rest tonight either?" Miraak finally asked. I would have looked over but it was pointless with how dark it was. I wasn't sure if I trusted my voice to answer him. He grew impatient with my silence rather quickly. "What a nuisance." He let out a tired sigh. I finally looked over at him, and I finally spoke.

"How were you able to tolerate being in Apocrypha for so long without going utterly mad?" My question made him look to me surprised. I quickly looked away when he didn't answer right away. The same pain from earlier came again but this time I was able to hold in my reaction but unlike earlier there was no hallucination this time.

"That errand you went on that day-"

"Please don't make me talk about that..." I pulled my knees to my chest as I tried to avoid the memory all together but Hermaeus Mora's voice echoed in my mind.

 _Bring me the treacherous blood..._

"I should let you get some rest." I said suddenly, I didn't want to keep him up but I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts either.

"To think a simple errand can bring the last dragonborn to her knees. It's pitiful." He commented. I didn't disagree with him as I always did.

"... Yeah." I went to my bedroll and as I adjusted the pillow my dagger came clattering out, the mere sound a sharp pain in my head. I picked it up as I tried to ignore the pain but felt a tentacle wrap around me, and another on my forearm. Startled, I jerked my arm away and without thinking the dagger in my other hand to stab the illusion I saw. I heard a grunt of pain and the illusion of the Seeker dissipated. Miraak was the one who had grabbed my arm. I quickly apologized and carefully extracted the dagger from his shoulder and began to heal the wound. I heard a distant laughing come from the corner of the room, my eyes darted to that direction expecting to see him but there was only a wall. I turned my focus to the restoration spell I was casting on Miraak. Before the wound could heal all the way my magicka had run out, leaving a shallow wound in its wake.

Miraak cautiously took the dagger away from me and with his other hand forced me to look at him. I flinched at first but no harm came, instead he asked again about what had happened during my errand. Should I tell him? Would he be angered that I had foolishly led myself into a trap? Then he did something odd. He tucked away the stray tresses of hair behind my ear gingerly I instantly was reminded of the memory I had that same day. It reminded me of the many questions I had about what had happened before we got here. This small recognition made this all seem familiar, like this had happened before. I tried to force the memory out but could only feel the usual searing pain, along with something new. A choking sensation in my chest and a voice.

 _Finish your task._

I ignored the voice and tried to force the memory despite the excruciating pain. Nothing came, I cradled my head to try to endure the pain a bit longer to remember anything but there was nothing.

"Dovahkiin?" Miraak seemed alarmed. I felt exhausted but just before I gave into the pain I managed to remember part of a conversation.

" _We've collected the dwemer artifacts as promised, now where's is the last ingredient for the elixir?"_

 _"The Hist Sap, as promised." The khajiit smiled and handed us an a small bottle filled with the special sap._

 _"Any side effects?"_

 _"There is a chance of amnesia, but it shouldn't be permanent."_

"I'm fine." I looked up at him. He looked at me strangely, I mildly wondered if he was concerned or just suspicious. I decided it'd be best to distract him from this whole ordeal.

"In your journal there was an entry that said we were collecting dwemer artifacts, they were for someone, we traded them for Hist Sap for some elixir? There was a possible side effect for memory loss... Do you happen to know why we we're making this elixir?" I hoped he wouldn't continue to question me, especially after accidentally stabbing him... I need to remember these are only illusions. Nothing more. He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Yes... I believe it was an elixir we had been making in preparation for our journey here." He seemed to have less trouble recalling things now.

"Journey here? What does that mean?" Now I was confused.

"I learned a great many secrets in my time in Apocrypha. One of them was time travel, of course to do so would deteriorate the mind. We needed the elixir to keep our sanity. Though I'm still not sure as to why we chose here." He had remembered so much, I was envious now, had I not walked into that trap, I might have made progress as well. Now they seemed even harder to remember.

"Was there anything else you remembered?" He asked. I turned away from him, I could feel my face flush. I didn't feel like this was necessary information for him.

"... What exactly do you remember from then?" I glanced back at him. He shifted uncomfortably with a grimace on his face. Was he hiding something as well?

"No." He seemed to be on guard. Should I tell him anyway? I looked away in disappointment.

"Then maybe what I remembered isn't that important to you." My answer seemed to pike mild interest in him but he didn't speak. Perhaps it was just mild curiosity.

The next morning came too soon. The bright rays of sunlight that filtered through the window disturbed my light sleep. My body ached with exhaustion but I got up anyway. I got up and made my way to the main hall. I saw Martin and Ilazki hovering over the Xarxes, he seemed to be explaining something to her, she seemed to be relaxed with a small glint in her eyes. She noticed me and she immediately straightened her posture. This caused Martin to look over and he called me over. I frowned, I hoped no one knew about the incident I had last night. I awkwardly made my way over but I didn't sit down. I stiffly watched them both as I waited to be interrogated.

"Jauffre has a small request of you. Ilazki will be retrieving the next item for the ritual although we have deciphered another item needed. Jauffre believes that it would be much more efficient to send you as well, so that you may retrieve the third item while Ilazki retrieves the second item." He paused for a second before continuing. "It will be a dangerous quest-"

"I'll do it." I cut him off. "I've been spending to much time here, a chance to explore sounds fun. What do you need" I smiled. He returned the smile halfheartedly.

"A great Welkynd Stone. There is only one place rumored to still contain one. The ruins of the Ayleid City called Miscarcand, many have perished there trying to retrieve this stone. You must be careful." He seemed anxious about this place.

"Where is this place?"

"It's between the city of Skingrad and Kvatch." His eyes saddened when he mentioned Kvatch. I wondered what I should say.

"When you are Emperor you can send aid to the survivors to help rebuild it." Ilazki said as she put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He let out a soft chuckle.

"It's still strange to think about." He shifted awkwardly in his chair as he thought about it. I frowned, he would never make it to be Emperor, Ilazki continued to comfort him, I felt out of place. I quickly left and began to pack my things for the journey.

As I entered the room I saw a shadow scurry away into a corner. I frowned as I reminded myself these were just delusions. They weren't real. As I got my things together I noticed the dagger I had was missing. Where did I put that thing? I rummaged through the bedroll in search of my dagger but it wasn't there. I sighed defeated, where did I leave that thing? I looked over the far corner of the room again. The weapons rack was there, none of those things were mine but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to barrow a weapon or two? I quietly made my way over and spotted another dagger, a silver one. I quickly added it to my pack and took some gauntlets. The Katana wouldn't fit discreetly in my bag so I decided to leave those be and I closed up the bag, making my way to the main entrance. I noticed my cloak hanging among the others. There was still blood on them from when I was attacked by the wolves. I stared at them for a while. I almost couldn't remember anything from the shrine encounter. I vaguely remembered standing in front of the statue, the only thing I could remember clearly was the request Hermaeus had made in exchange for my memories... I looked at the floor ashamed. I should have never gone.

"Before you go," I head Ilazki behind me, I looked over to her with a curious expression as she spoke, "You should take this map. You'll need it." She gave me a map of Cyrodiil. I thanked her as I placed it inside my pack. She walked with me to the stables and explained a few more things about Miscarcand in a bit more depth. She explained that it was said to be haunted and most likely full of traps by now.

When we got to the stables I noticed an extra horse, it was black with white fur splashed onto it's snout and hooves. I assumed Ilazki had bought a horse but Ilazki had lead me to this horse in particular. I looked at her a bit confused.

"Miraak said that you could use his horse." She said as she motioned me to this horse. I wondered how he was able to afford to get this animal? I hoisted myself up and tied my pack to the saddle. "He didn't want me to tell you this but, he had hoped to see you before you left. But you didn't hear it from me." She said the last part with warning. I laughed a bit.

"I won't tell him how you've exposed his deepest secrets." I said sarcastically. "I guess I'll see him before I leave." I was a little annoyed and wondered if maybe he was going to ask me about my shrine visit again. I hope he doesn't... Although I couldn't help but smile a bit at this. Not that I needed an excuse to say bye to that pompous jerk! I quickly wiped the smile from my face and went to the door to go find Miraak but, speak of the devil, there he was. I was unprepared for this and suddenly felt nervous as I had almost just run straight into him. I was suddenly aware of our height differences, I wasn't really sure why but it made me feel awkward for noticing something so trivial. So what if he was almost a whole head taller! I ended up saying the first thing that came to mind instead of just telling him I'm leaving.

"You wouldn't happen to know where my dagger is would you?" I felt embarrassed that I even said anything at all, he seemed surprised. He looked up at Ilazki and addressed her first.

"Jauffre wishes to speak to you before you leave." He said in a flat tone, she left promptly, leaving just us in the stable. I felt a little bugged that he didn't just answer my question before. When she had left Miraak took out a blade, it was my dagger. He handed it to me wordlessly. I took it and looked at his shoulder, I suddenly felt guilty about that again.

"How's your shoulder..?" I asked meekly, avoiding eye contact.

"It's fine." He looked over at his horse, "If you lose my horse, I expect you to bring me a new one." He said as he crossed his arms, his gaze coming back to me. I scoffed. Of course, he would say that.

"Yeah whatever, I assume that you want someone to bring it back here too if I happen to die out there." I said with agitation. I turned away from him, this conversation was hurting me, yet I had no idea why? Why was I getting so upset? I calmed my nerves, I was being ridiculous.

I felt a sudden wave of dizziness. I pushed my thoughts aside for a moment and took a deep breath. I began to grow paranoid, my body only reacted this way when I would notice hallucinations. I turned to Miraak again and smiled as best I could.

"I should go now. Don't cause too much trouble." I made my way to the horse but stopped for a moment when the horse turned to look at me, for a moment I saw it as a Seeker instead of an animal. I steeled myself and ignored the illusion and mounted the thing. The hair looked more like tentacles, I took the reins with shaky hands and closed my eyes for a moment. Focusing only on my breathing for a minute. When I opened them, everything seemed normal again. I noticed Miraak was watching me. I lead the horse out of the stable and looked back at Miraak who was looking at me strangely. I felt compelled to do something that would keep him from becoming suspicious. So I stuck my tongue out at him in a mocking manner, like a child would, and then laughed as I left promptly.

 **A/N:** I didn't expect to have a lot of time to write today but I ended up with a ton of free time haha. I have plans for a cosplay project coming up in a few days so don't expect the next update to come out this fast. Depending on how it affects my schedule I might not update till next week or so? I'm not sure. But maybe it wont be as time consuming as I'm thinking.

The next few chapters might get a little dark. So if they are I'll make sure to put a little warning at the top of the page so you can prepare yourselves. Sooooo yeaaahhhh... Till next time!


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 _I could feel an odd warmth coming from the distance, but I could see nothing, not even my hands in front of me. I looked behind me and felt a feeling of dread set in, I could not see anything around me. I faced the odd warmth in front of me and cautiously made my way towards it. I could feel my nerves tingle with each step, the warmth caused me to be hyper aware of my own temperature, causing chills to go up my back._

 _I took a deep breath to calm myself as I slowed my pace. Once I felt less paranoid I quickened my pace to a power walk. I was soon able to make out a small blue light in the distance, curious, I continued, my fear lessening with each step. Soon I was able to make out the things in my path, a few blank pages scattered about a black cobblestone path. I didn't think much on it, my focus on the blue aura in the distance. I saw a figure next to this blue light, I squinted my eyes to try and make out the figure but the blue aura turned into a poisonous green and tentacles wrapped around the figure. I stopped and stared in startled amazement at the sight as the figure's arms turned into bat like wings with claws at the ends and a tail, sprouted. The green light reflecting off their black scales. The dragon cried in pain as it was consumed by the writhing inky tentacles._

 _I felt something pull on my leg, I fell onto the ground below me and I felt a stinging all over my face. More restraints wrapped around my arms and I realized too late what was happening. I was being pulled down into a dark fog, my heart was racing as I felt panic consume me. I was thrown onto a shallow puddle of dark water, I caught notice of a pair of armored boots. I looked up and froze as I took in the almost unfamiliar features. Their uncaring icy dragon eyes looked down on me with distaste, I balled my hands into fists and stood up with determination. This was an illusion, I reminded myself. The other seemed to chuckle in amusement, as if my thoughts were said aloud._

 _"Why settle for what you are, when you could be exactly what you see before you?" Hermaeus Mora's voice filled my head._

 _I looked up at my false reflection defiantly, her eyes were no longer human, they were instead those of a dragon and the scales on her armor were a familiar crimson color. When my gaze met her headdress, I was horrified at the sight, she wore Odahviing's head as the foresworn wore the elk heads. I felt a sick feeling consume my core as the more I looked at her, I recognized more things she wore were Odahviing. On her back was one black dragon wing. I turned my gaze to the floor in disgust, feeling my throat close up and my mouth watering with nausea. This was me? Impossible!_

 _"You are weak, Dovahkiin." I heard my voice come out of her. I instantly felt rage consume me at the sound._

 _"Why? Why did you kill Odahviing?" I demanded. I heard her laughter once more, as if she were innocent. The same laughter I had shown Miraak before I had departed. She simply walked away towards a wall I had not noticed before, on it were the masks of all the Dragon Priests, she took on down and threw it to my feet. I instantly recognized it as Miraak's. Alarmed I looked up and she shouted something. I couldn't hear it, but the effect was unfamiliar. I could feel my whole body pulse with pain, it was as if my insides were being ripped apart. I was losing myself._

I jolted awake and sat up quickly, the movement was disorientating and I could feel my chest heaving with erratic painful breaths. What had just happened? I still felt pain and my body shook with terror. Was... Was that what I would become if I gave into Hermaeus Mora? The image of Odahviing's head was burned into my mind. I ran my hands through my blonde locks nervously, my attempt to calm myself failing. I looked around me, Cyrodiil seemed so loud tonight, but the insects and small animals weren't exactly more active than usual. I took in a shaky breath and tried to calm myself once more. It was only a dream, I am the ruler of my own fate. No one could force me to choose anything.

I didn't trust myself enough to let myself fall back asleep, I looked over at the horse Miraak had lent me, the animal was still sleeping.

'I suppose it wouldn't hurt to enter Miscarcand now?' I though as I looked up at the dark sky. I turned my attention to the ruins, how hard could it be? I stood up, my body protested, I was still tired and aching from the numbing pain I had just felt. I sighed as I rubbed the tiredness from my eyes, how much more of these could I bare? Perhaps when the crisis is over I will no longer hear Hermaeus anymore... By the nine, I hope that's the case.

When I opened the door to the ruins a foul stench filled my nostrils. I grimaced as I made my way into the dark glimmering halls. I had to admit, these Alyeid ruins were impressive. The halls seemed to have slaughtered goblins, the stench indicated that they had been dead for a few days now. I scowled as I passed by the dried blood splashed around the corpse. I soon made it to a more open room. The air itself felt almost toxic as the smell from the undead made me feel ill. I tried not to focus on the smell and pulled out the silver dagger I had taken from Cloud Ruler Temple. I decided to climb down to the room below, I quickly killed the zombies as they approached unknowingly. The last two had noticed my presence and came running at me. One of them clawed at me while I was dealing with the other. I barely avoided one as it lunged it's head towards me in an attempt to bite me.

"Fus Roh Dah!" They both went flying into the far wall, the ruins shook and I looked up alerted at the dust falling from the ceiling. Perhaps these ruins weren't the most stable place to use my thu'um. I made my way cautiously towards the next door. More hallways, I vaguely wondered just how deep these ruins ran as I got to another room with a lower level. Skeleton archers roamed the grounds below. I decided to follow the path towards the other side of the upper level of the roam as discreetly as possible. I had left my back vulnerable as I tried to avoid the sight of another archer and I felt an arrow lodge itself into my shoulder. I lost my balance out of surprise and fell to the lower level of the room. Alerting the nearby enemies of my presence. I made quick work of the skeletal warrior closest to me and took the bow and arrows as I dashed for cover from the flying arrows around me. I aimed as best I could to get the rest of them. I hit the first one easily, braking the arm off that held the bow. I knocked another arrow to aim for the one running towards me, I missed 3 times before It was in front of me. I jumped aside to dodge it's sword, leaving me out in the open for the archers. I held on tight to the bow as I sent him a punch to the ribs, the bones cracked and splintered, cutting into my knuckles. As it fell to the ground I felt an arrow wisp by my face, barely missing me. I quickly ran off and found a few collapsed pieces leading to the upper level. Without thinking I forced my way back up, trying my best to ignore the pain in my shoulder. Once I was on the top I sprinted to the next door and left them behind. I leaned against the stone wall beside the door as I prepared myself to pull out the arrow.

I quickly pulled out the arrow, a hiss escaping from me involuntarily. I dropped the arrow and began to heal my wound as best I could. I was able to close the wound but there was still pain and a bit of swelling. I waited there a bit, my body was tired but I knew I couldn't stay in here long. Something would find me. I should have came more prepared. What was I even thinking? I pushed my thoughts aside, no use in complaining over my decisions.

As I explored the halls I heard a skittering sound. I looked towards a far corner expecting a rat or something but noticed a mask on the floor instead. I bit my lower lip nervously as I tried to ignore Miraak's mask on the floor. Hermaeus must be taunting me. I had no time for this right now. I made my way deeper into the ruins, cutting down undead and sacking through the old chest I found. I ran into a decent weapon. An enchanted claymore, I could feel the enchantment vibrating through the blade. I smiled relieved that luck was on my side today. I took everything useful and everything I that caught my eye.

Hours of searching through these ruins I felt a bit lost. I wondered if I was going the right way? I came across various odd stones on pedestals. I had decided to take them, perhaps I could sell them? Or if they were useful, keep them. It wasn't long after I came across the Great Welkynd stone Martin needed for the ritual. I stuffed it into my pack along with the various gems and other magical stones I had come across. I heard something odd, I ignored it thinking it was only the usual auditory hallucinations, but then I felt a stabbing pain go through me. For a moment I thought I saw a tentacle instead of the sword from the lich behind me. The pain made me stumble and I scrambled away from the next swing. The Lich summoned 2 zombies to help him and took another swing at me. I dodged as I clutched the wound in my abdomen. The lich sent a blast of shock my way. I noticed he had cast the blade aside in favor of a staff. I winced at the pain and stood up after the next blast and shouted.

"Zun haal viik." The staff flew out of its hand, the lich seemed surprised at the shout and I took the opportunity to lunge at it. Slashing at the creature as I waited for my body to recover from my shout. The lich took me by surprise when it grabbed the claymore when I stabbed it through the chest, with its free hand the lich grabbed me by the throat. My lungs began to burn at the lack of air. I heard the zombies coming closer. I let go of the claymore and pulled out the silver dagger. Cutting the hand off, I fell to the floor as the creature writhed. I used another shout.

"Iiz Slen Nus!" The shout turned the lich into brittle ice and the force behind it made the ice form shatter into small pieces, I felt weak, I hadn't yet recovered from my previous shout, the other zombies that had been summoned quickly turned to ash. I sat there on the floor panting, each breath sent a burning pain through my core. I hoisted myself up and made my way to the remains of the lich king. I saw something shimmering in the remains, I picked it up, a key. I made my way to the door on the far side and continued, using the key to leave this area of the ruins. I began to heal myself as best I could until I had no more magicka left. I was still in pain and the wound was still open. A few more undead were in the path but I soon made it to the beginning again. I felt relief as I opened the stone door, the smell of petricore and grass was a welcoming change from the smell of death and iron. I quickened my pace to get to the horse, I mounted the thing, pain shooting through me. I gritted my teeth, perhaps I should make a stop in Skingrad and find a healer. It wouldn't be a great idea to ride all the way back in this condition. I pulled out the map and headed towards the city, the light rain and breeze made me feel numb.

The uneven ground was a pain to go through, I clutched at my side in pain, only one hand on the reins. It didn't take long to reach Skingrad. I left the horse at the front and made my way in but as soon as I entered I attracted the attention of a rather peculiar bosmer who had been skulking around the entrance of the city. He called me over ever so discreetly. I looked at him oddly and looked around but no one seemed to be around. He came to me and spoke urgently.

"We can't talk here. Too public." He said hurriedly, I was about to speak but he cut me off. "Meet me behind the chapel at midnight. Don't let anyone follow you!" He looked around, fidgeting at the movement of a distant guard before whispering, "I'll make it worth your while." He scurried off quickly. I was confused, did I imagine that? I made my way to the middle of the city looking for the chapel, I still needed a healer after all. I wondered if I should actually stay and meet this bosmer. I frowned, what if he was another sent by Hermaeus Mora? I should ask around about him first...

I found the Chapel of Julianos fairly easily, I walked in and headed to the priestess at the alter. I seemed to have startled her when she saw my injuries. She ushered me to sit on a bench and began to heal me, I tried to focus on anything but the painful sting of flesh knitting back together. This somewhat reminded me of Kvatch, when Martin had been healing me. I wondered if there was a way to stop his death? Or if it would even be a good idea, and how would this affect everything in the long run? Then my thoughts strayed to the dream I had this morning... The more I thought about it the more uncomfortable I became, the draconian eyes reminded me of Miraak's eye. I wondered if there was any significance to this?

"Do you feel any pain here?" The priestess asked as she applied light pressure over the area my injury used to be. I was surprised how fast she worked, I sat up and moved my arm to check my shoulder as well and smiled. Everything seemed to be just fine now. I thanked her and left, I saw the odd bosmer again, he seemed to be watching me. I felt uneasy and wondered what his intentions were, should I wait and find out?

I soon found myself at an inn, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask about this odd bosmer. There was an elderly woman at the desk and I approached her, she greeted me and I began with a question.

"Do you happen to know about this odd bosmer? I didn't get his name but he... seems a bit weird."

"You must be talking about Glarthir." Her words got the attention of a dark haired woman, she walked over as the old woman spoke. "He's sort of the town eccentric, he's lived here for years so were actually quite used to hims strange ways... Although, I will admit, lately he's been a bit weirder than usual. Always looking over his shoulder, writing in his little notebook. I wonder what he's up to now?" She trailed off. The other woman scoffed.

"Erina don't sugar coat things, he's a raving lunatic!" She looked over at me and continued, "I'm assuming you're asking because he's done something strange."

"What strange things has he done?" I asked confused.

"Shouting obscenities at you, or wearing only fur for an entire year, or waiting outside your house every morning. That man is utterly insane."

"Oh Else, don't be so harsh, I'm sure he's completely harmless." Erina intercepted, Else rolled her eyes, her opinion unchanged.

"Not that you'll get anyone else in town to admit it." She said to me as she ignored Erina. "Just wait, one day he'll snap. I'd watch your back if I were you." She went back to cleaning the lobby and I stood there awkward for a moment, letting the information sink in. I decided to leave and ask around a bit more. Perhaps a guard would be more insightful in this, I walked around the city until I found a guard walking to a tavern. I quickened my pace to catch up to them.

"Excuse me." I said as I stopped him, he seemed a bit tired.

"Yes?" He looked tired.

"I was wondering if you could tell a bit about Glarthir?"

"Glarthir?" He seemed surprised about my question but he continued on about him. "Total nutcase, if you ask me. But he's never done anything, yet, that we could arrest him for. You should avoid him. If that's all I will be going now." He continued into the tavern and I stood there contemplating. It seems this bosmer was no more than some town eccentric. I couldn't help but think about the odd brenton I had run into in Solitude, I wondered if this Glarthir was simply one of Sheogorath's lackeys? I felt much better knowing that Glarthir was simply the town eccentric and not a servant to Hermaeus Mora. I wondered what he wanted? I suppose I should find out another day, Martin need the Great Welkynd Stone for the ritual. I quickly made my way to the city gates, I noticed Glarthir on my way out, he seemed to be watching someone and writing in a notebook, just as Erina had said he usually did. I caught his attention as I left, he seemed indifferent until he realized I was leaving. He seemed panicked, I wondered why?

I wasn't looking forward to this journey, as I was leaving the farmlands of Skingrad the eccentric little bosmer called out to me.

"Wait!" Glarthir called. I sighed and stopped the horse a bit outside of the farmlands, I wondered why this eccentric even followed me. Was he that desperate for help?

"You're the bosmer from earlier." I started, He nervously looked over his shoulder as he spoke.

"Normally I would advise against speaking during broad daylight... But I need you're help. You're the only one that can." He insisted.

"I'm not sure I can at the moment-"

"There are people watching me, the whole town's in on it!" He seemed genuinely terrified, I sighed, I didn't have the time for this.

"If someone is after you why not leave the city?"

"Leave?" He seemed confused. "No, I can't do that. They'll know-"

"I'm sure we can figure something out. I'm in the middle of an important errand, I can't help you right now, but perhaps after I can."

"After? It'll be too late by then." He panicked. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I can't believe I'm about to offer this...

"Then come with me, I can drop you off somewhere safe while I go run my errand and I can pick you up right after? Or if you don't trust me I suppose I can consider taking you with me to my errand..." I watched him as his face contorted from confusion to concern. He simply shook his head.

"No, no, no, I can't ask that of you. I'm sorry, this is my own problem. I will need to do this on my own then." He began to walk away, I should have let him go and continue on my way as well but I felt an odd guilt tug at me. He felt as if the whole town was against him, perhaps because he was ignored by everyone and labeled as eccentric. No one would help this crazed bosmer so he must have felt helpless. I conceded and spoke again to him as he walked away.

"I will meet you at midnight I suppose. But I cannot stay very long. I will help you as much as I can for the next couple days but after that I really _must_ leave." my words caught his attention and he looked back and simply nodded before running off back to Skingrad. What had I just agreed to?

 **A/N:** What's this? I actually updated early? Haha yeah, I found sometime to actually write and decided to write away! The next chapter should be posted soon, Probably not today but maybe in the next couple days, I have more time today for writing but I'm not entirely sure it's enough time to write and edit but I guess we'll see?


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

I followed Bernadette just as Glarthir had asked but everything seemed normal, except for the fact that she woke up at an ungodly hour, simply to go to the Chapel to pray for an hour. Ugh, an hour of sitting behind her and trying not to be recognized by the priestess was not exactly what I would call fun. I was tired, I hadn't slept well at all, I kept having odd dreams. I only hope that today I wouldn't have any disturbances... I tried to enjoy the scent of roses and lavender in the chapel, it was soothing, a a much welcomed change.

Afterward Bernadette went to work in the vineyards. Occasionally I noticed she would turn her attention somewhere for a moment before continuing her work. I noticed her stare was directed towards Glarthir who was watching her _very_ obviously. Perhaps Glarthir simply wanted a second opinion of her because of her supposed watching. Although, he should have at least tried to be a bit more discreet. I decided to go up to her and ask her about Glarthir.

"Well, I know he's a bit odd, but I've always found him kind of sweet." She seemed a bit bashful about her answer at first but as she continued she looked over my shoulder and a look of concern washed over her face. "Lately though, he's been stranger than usual. I think he's been following me, sometimes I catch him but when I say hello, he ignores me." She seemed a bit uneasy and bothered at the last part of her response.

"Do you think he hates me?" She asked as she looked over my shoulder sadly. I gave her a strange look and she quickly recoiled and said she had to get back to work and told me I should go. I was so confused by this. I walked away from Tamika's Vineyard and pondered this information a bit. This breten must have some sort of feelings towards the paranoid bosmer. Although, just to make sure... I made my way to her house and kept an eye out for anyone who may be watching. I quickly picked the lock to her house and closed the door behind me quietly. I began to rummage through her things. There wasn't anything of much importance in the main room, but when I got to her room I found her journal. I opened it and began to skim through it, momentarily admiring the penmanship.

There was a few mentions of Glarthir, but not in any way the paranoid bosmer would be interested in. I suppose an infatuation could be a reasonable explanation for the confusion behind his paranoia. I came across a page in her diary, it was similar to a confession letter only the thoughts were scattered and unorganized. I tore the page out and stashed it away in my pocket. The diary itself was a bit boring, what she thought was excitement seem to revolve around small insignificant occurrences. I closed the diary and tossed it aside. My thoughts seem to go back to the crisis at hand. Even with all these gates to Oblivion opening up, people found time to care about small menial things. I felt a bit detached to the world around me. I knew I didn't belong here, yet here I was, I wasn't even helping anymore. I was stalling myself with some mild distraction, wasn't I? Why would I even agree to come here? I looked out the window and saw the sun was getting low in the sky. I should get going before anyone notices I was here. I carefully peaked out of the door before leaving and closing the door behind me. I went to Glarthir's door and slid the paper under the door. I didn't have time for this anymore, why was I still even here?

I heard the distinct clink of armor from heavy armor, I looked behind me, for a moment I thought I saw another hallucination, but it was just the Captain of the guard.

"A little bird told me you were asking around about Glarthir. I want to know why." He seemed to look at me suspiciously, almost accusingly. I simply shrugged it off.

"He seemed strange and I was curious." My answer didn't seem to sit well with him. Almost as if he was a bit paranoid about my vagueness.

"Fine, play it that way. Let me give you some friendly advice. Glarthir is crazy, maybe harmless crazy, maybe not."

"I think that's just about everyone's thoughts on him." I said plainly. He gave me a stern look before continuing.

"If he asks you to do anything... Strange... You come to me first, got it? Or any of the town Guard. Let us handle it." He walked off rather quickly after that. Not letting me respond, everyone seems so on edge about this little wood elf behavior lately. I wondered if it would be wise to leave at this point? Perhaps I should talk to someone about this? But who?

Perhaps this little bosmer really is part of a conspiracy, it would be easy to conspire against an individual.

I ignored the daedric voice swirling in my head. He was only trying to confuse me, daedra can never be trusted. I made my way to a tavern, I had been ignoring my hunger long enough. I ran into someone on the way there, a breton, he had a brown shirt with tan linen trousers. Their cowhide shoes seemed to be a bit muddy as well. They seemed friendly enough as they apologized. I started to see things again, I felt a sudden chill go up my back. I smiled half halfheartedly in response to them before entering the tavern. The loud voices of the tavern seemed blurred into a a muffled mess of sounds.

People looked at me strangely as I walked by, some quieting to stare. I ignored them and took a seat at the bar, I put some gold on the table and ordered some food. Honestly I wasn't even sure what I ordered, I simply went with the first thing they listed but the room swayed. As they went to prepare the meal I closed my eyes and focused on the movement of my chest as I inhaled and exhaled. A small pain reacted to every exhale I made. Soon they came back, with the food. The smell took my attention, it was a soup, I smiled and thanked them and began to eat.

Once I was done I left, I had felt much better but I kept feeling a sharp pain towards the back of my head. I remembered seeing someone in green before the sharp pain passed through my body like lightning. I collapsed onto the cobblestone, I felt something constricting around my limps and neck.

I gasped for air but I was suffocating, soon my vision clouded into darkness.

 _Fight it all you want dragonborn, but you are destined to be mine._

I felt something wet below me, I pushed myself up as best I could. I immediately recognized the black waters below me and looked up to see scattered pages and books across the grey stone floors, lighted with the green aura from the skies above. I page on the floor caught my attention, it was from an old journal of mine. I picked it up curiously and began to read.

 _Miraak has told me he plans for us to travel back in time using a shout he learned from his time in Apocrypha. He said that Hermaeus would have trouble finding us in the past, it would give us time while we prepared our next move..._

The rest of the page seemed damaged and stained with black ink. I found another page of my journal but only the bottom was legible, the top stained with the same substance as the last.

 _He tricked me! I found the journal he where he obsessively documented his days and found a passage stating he intended for us to go to the 3_ _rd_ _era during the Oblivion Crisis. A time where everything was in complete chaos. At first it seemed to make sense, with so much going it would be hard to track us down, but as I kept reading, he planned to absorb the souls of each Septim who dies during that time. I needed to find a way to stop this, but we are only hours away... I'm afraid I may not have the resources to even stop him..._

I was alarmed by what I had read, my heartbeat was much more noticeable and seemed to be the loudest thing in the room. I saw more pages but as I picked them up the strange inky substances bled all over the pages, soon all the pages around me began to bleed, covering my handwriting in a void. This couldn't be it, could it? I wouldn't have agreed to go further in this plan had I really known this... Would I? I was so confused and nervously began to run my fingers through my hair. I felt a tentacle wrap around me and the water showed an image of Tamriel in flames and Miraak in the center of it all. More appendages came from the murky water, pulling me into the void, I felt the heavy water fill my lungs and I began to cough and struggle for air.

I opened my eyes as I sat up quickly, still coughing violently. I felt cold and wet, the taste of rose and lavender in the air. I noticed I was in the Chapel of Julianos, the sound of rain could be heard, hitting the walls outside. The priestess seemed to have been startled by my sudden awakening. The images from Apocrypha invaded my mind. I needed to get to Cloud Ruler Temple. I couldn't waste my time here anymore. I took my things and made a quick inventory of things, ensuring I still had the Welkynd Stone. Once I had confirmed it was still there I got up and left the Chapel, ignoring the priestess's protests. Once outside I was bombarded by the pouring rain, the priestess followed me, in distress over my sudden leave. She must have been concerned by my well being, I felt fine. I didn't need help, I ignored her calls and turned my attention to the ground as I shouted. The only only dragon I knew would be able to help right now.

"Durnehviir!" A dark mist swirled in front of me and out came the rotting, undead, dragon from the ground. He seemed surprised by his presence here and he turned his attention to me.

"I need your help, I have no one else to turn to..." I said. I heard the priestess shriek in terror and others unfortunate enough to be outside also ran away in terror. The dragon seemed unsure but as he looked at his surroundings he realized where he was and he turned to me. Before he could ask I interrupted.

"I can explain everything on the, please. You must take me to Cloud Ruler Temple." I looked at him with pleading eyes, he seemed uninterested at first and I thought he would fly away, but instead he lowered himself so that I could climb up. As I climbed on an arrow struck Durnehviir. I looked up to see some guards had gathered to attack the dragon. I didn't want them to be hurt so I used another shout, to scatter them away as Durnehviir took to the sky. Once in the sky I told him where he needed to go, and how I had met him before. How he had told me how to summon him to Tamriel.

"I have found myself lost in time, you were the only dragon alive that would be able to help me... Odahviing is... He hasn't been brought back yet and Paarthunax is still in hiding somewhere." there was a bit of silence before Durnehviir spoke.

"That's quite the mouthful dovahkiin." He began to descent from the sky and I could see the blade's fortress below. "Call for me in your time of need." He said as we landed on the training grounds. I jumped down and thanked him. A few blades came out with their weapons, Durnehviir ascended into the skies once more, disappearing into the skies. I felt that odd sickness from earlier kick in again. I stumbled a bit and fell to my knees as the world around me spun. I pushed myself up again and refused help from the blades as they came to assist me. I noticed Martin at the door, he seemed in awe, his gaze to the skies. He must have seen Durnehviir, I made my way over to him and took out the Great Welkynd Stone and handed it to him. He was so amazed by it. "It's as beautiful as the old tales tell." He looked up, for a moment he was happy but his face contorted into worry. "Are you well?" He seemed to be staring at me with worry.

"I've been worse." I shrugged it off.

"... There is a matter I must discuss with you." He said as he lead me to the interrogation room they had kept Miraak in when we had first arrived. When he closed the door behind him, he didn't face me just yet.

"Which Daedric shrine did you visit during your personal errand?" He asked, I felt cornered. I shifted uncomfortably before answering with another question.

"Why does it matter?" I turned my gaze to the far wall, from the corner of my eye I could see he turned to me.

"Astra... Miraak has-"

"You shouldn't trust Miraak." I interrupted. I looked over at him, reminded of what I had seen in Apocrypha.

"I will need to begin training you, I have... Seen things. If you don't learn how to defend yourself, I fear that Tamriel will lose its one chance at surviving." My urgency seemed to startle and confuse him. He tried to inquire more but there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." Martin invited them in. The door opened and Miraak had come in, I watched him carefully as he came in, he seemed surprised of my arrival, had he not been paying attention? I arrived here on a dragon. I watched him suspiciously.

"Jauffre wishes to speak with you about the matter in Bruma." Miraak turned his attention to me once Martin was gone. I didn't trust him anymore. How could I? I knew of his plans, it was only a matter of time before he himself realized them, or he already had and he was simply biding his time.

"Dovahkiin, we didn't expect you back so soon." He smiled, ugh, praise. I continued to watch him as he came closer, a small frown became apparent on his features. He caught notice of something and he brought his hand to my neck, I froze as he moved my hair from the side of my neck. He seemed alarmed at whatever he had seen and his gaze caught mine.

"Dovahkiin, did you go see Hermaeus Mora?" His expression was serious. I was unsure of why, or how he would even know? This must have been a trap. I pulled myself away with a glare.

"Of course not." He must have seen the note I left in the journal. How else would Martin have known where to search for me that day? Miraak seemed displeased with my answer, if I had not known better it would almost seem as if he had some concern for me.

 _Kill him dragonborn._

The daedric voice echoed in my mind. Bringing another suffocating feeling and a pain through my chest as I felt it tighten. I tried not to let the weakness show but it was overwhelming and I fell to my knees. I felt Miraak lift me up to face him but I pulled a dagger out and raised it against his neck. I would not let him take advantage of my weak state. I would not die without a fight. My hands shook and the pain increased, my grip faltered and Miraak took the dagger from me.

"Hah zii gron." He whispered to me, it was a shout I had never heard before, I felt invaded and began to fight him again, but he was stronger. Strangely though, I began to feel relaxed, the pain didn't seem as intense anymore. Then he did something odd, painful even. He summoned an odd dark blue aura to his hand and place it on my forehead. I inhaled sharply as I tried to pull myself away from him but more contact with him seemed to make the pain worse. Soon he began to extract a strange inky substance from within me, his face contorted and he gritted his teeth, he must be in pain as well. Soon the strange black inky substance was completely extracted and it dissipated. He stopped the strange magic and the pain was gone. I felt a bit light headed, what had he just done? I soon found my strength again and swiped the dagger from him to attack, feeling less weakened now. I pinned him down below me with the dagger to his neck. He was surprised but he did not make an effort to push me off or restrain me. He seemed curious if I actually would go through with it. Why wouldn't I? Before I could put any more pressure on the dagger he pushed me off of him and the dagger fell from my hand. He pinned my hands down and he glared at me with annoyance.

"Dovahkiin, stop." He demanded. I looked at him defiantly as I still squirmed underneath him.

"Must you be so difficult?" He said with annoyance. This seemed to jog some very unwanted and compromising memories.

I froze as I caught his gaze, everything seemed very familiar about this. He stayed like that for a moment before letting me go. But he still watched me with distrust. I averted my gaze from him as I sat up, my whole body felt warm. I felt his hand on my shoulder to turn me to him, I couldn't get myself to meet his gaze. I was confused and conflicted. I still felt he should be a threat yet...

"What have you remembered?" I asked cautiously. He thought for moment before answering.

"Nothing of importance." He said. I felt anger again, I glared at him but didn't meet his gaze.

"Of course." I said lividly. I looked up at him in anger. He seemed indifferent towards me, which only proved my suspicions about our past memories.

"Just know, if you plan to continue with your plans. You will leave me no choice but to kill you." I warned as I slipped away from him. I left him confused. I would have to be prepared for this. Martin's training needed to start as soon as possible. I could not trust Miraak any longer, no matter how intimate the memories may be. It was simple manipulation, I had to keep that in mind when I thought back on any of these memories.

 **A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you like the story! The next update should be up next week, I plan to update my other fanfics eventually as well so once I start regularly updating those I should have a schedule? Haha I'm really bad at schedules. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this chapter, till next time!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Snow fell gently from the sky as I trained Martin outside. I decided it'd be best for him to learn new shouts outside the walls of the fortress, for several reasons. Although, it would not be easy to sneak away their emperor without causing panic. For now I settled on teaching him how to use a sword, he seemed to be a natural in the arts of swordplay. I wondered what his life was before he was a priest.

Everyday had been the same routine, we would train every morning for a couple hours and then retire inside. He had already finished translating the Xarxes but it seemed to bring up much debate with the countess of Bruma. Ilazki had still not come back with the armor of Tiber Septim. Martin worried about her almost constantly. I would always assure him that she was still alive, but everyday that passed it seemed harder to tell him so. He seemed to believe me less and less, I also began to have my own doubts about it. Martin began asking his blades if they had heard anything but they would always disappoint.

"Brother Martin, I'm sure she is just fine." I said, we sat outside on the steps. His gaze was distant, guilt must have been eating away at him.

"How can you be so sure?" He asked, he seemed a bit bothered at my optimism. I smiled amused.

"I could prove it to you." I said without thinking. He looked at me almost hopeful.

"And how would you prove such a thing?" He was skeptical, but he wanted to believe.

"Let's look for her. I'm sure the blades can handle the issues with Bruma without you." I offered. He laughed a bit.

"And how do you suppose we leave? It's not the most wise decision for me to just leave." He seemed conflicted by responsibility and his concern for Ilazki.

"We wont be traveling by horse." I said simply. He looked at me with even more disbelief than before.

"Are you suggesting we walk?" His doubtful expression seemed to melt into irritation, as he began to tell me why that was worse than the idea of leaving by horse.

"I'm well aware that walking is not an option. Why don't we gather our things and meet back out here tonight when everyone is sleeping." My suggestion didn't seem to sit well with him but he agreed anyway. I tried to give him a reassuring smile but he was still a bit unsure.

We made our way back inside, I almost jumped when I looked up to see Miraak talking to a blade about Bruma. I calmed myself, he didn't seem to be acting on his plan yet but I needed to keep my guard up at all times. Martin hadn't asked about my sudden distrust in Miraak but it hadn't gone unnoticed. I wondered for a moment if he was waiting for me to say something about it or if he was simply waiting for an opportunity to ask.

He lead us to the main hall and we sat by the hearth, he watched the fire with a distant pained look. I mildly wondered if the fire reminded him of the attack on Kvatch. I looked at the fire, I could almost hear Alduin's roar in Helgen. I shook my head, it had been so long ago, yet it was still a memory as clear as day. My thoughts went to Kvatch.

"Do you ever wonder how Corrinar is doing? Or any of the other survivors?" I asked as I watched the crackling fire. I heard Martin chuckle a bit.

"Corrinar? I'm sure he's doing quite well." I turned to Martin to see a warm smile on his face as he continued. "Corrinar asked about you the day we left. He had asked if Akatosh had sent you to save him and his father." Martin seemed amused. I laughed as I shook my head.

"Well, it's nice to know he had a bit of optimism left even after a disaster like that." My smile soon faded as I thought about how I had abandoned that wood elf, I didn't finish helping him. Instead I fled here, thinking back it really was a rash decision but maybe things would work out for Glarthir. I thought about Bernadette's diary entries, she seemed so happy working at the vineyards, the mere scent of them brought her such joy. I wondered when the last time I had felt that way about anything?

"Is something the matter?" Martin asked with concern. I didn't answer right away, I pondered the question myself.

"I'm fine." I lied. He looked at me with an unreadable expression and simply sank into the chair behind him and turned his gaze to the fire.

"How many times are you going to lie to yourself?" His tone seemed grim.

"... Until it becomes true." I turned my gaze to my hands. Ever since I had come back, I hadn't had any hallucinations. Could it have something to do with what Miraak had done?

"That day... That day I went to my errand." I started, Martin turned his attention to me as I quietly continued. "I had been summoned to the shrine of Hermaeus Mora. When I first arrived I had been unnoticed but... I continued anyway. After that I remember waking up at the foot of the plateau, and then you found me..." I was unsure as to why I even started this, I felt foolish. "I had been having hallucinations since then." I shifted uncomfortable in my chair under Martin's gaze. I didn't dare look at him.

"Miraak worried that was the case." He stated. So he had his suspicions after all. "You should have opened up more about the note you worried over."

"It's my own problem, I can handle these things myself." I tried to keep my tone civil, Martin was not the one at fault.

"Sometimes, you need to accept a helping hand." He stated. I looked away.

"It doesn't matter anymore." I suddenly felt too exposed. Why had I even said anything at all?

"...In my youth, I delved deep into the arts of daedric magic, I had known the dangers, but I believed I would be able to handle it without consequences." Martin averted his gaze from the fire and stared at his hands. "My friends... they died in an accident due to my rashness. I wish I could say that was when I had put aside the dark arts. It wasn't until much later that I did, I put everything aside to become a priest."

"...Which daedra did you follow then?" I asked quietly. I was unsure if he had heard me at first but he had.

"I used to serve Sanguine." He said with a frown, he must still be resentful of his former self. He then asked me, "How did you come across Hermaeus Mora?" I shifted in my seat before answering sheepishly.

"Meddling... The People of Solstheim were being manipulated by Miraak, building him a temple so that he could return. I decided to help the people but found myself biting off more than I could chew... Sometimes I wonder If I should have just let things be the way they were..."

"Your heart was in the right place." he tried to reassure me.

"And look where that got me." I let myself sink into the chair, a frown across my face. I not only lead myself into the hands of a Daedric Prince, I had lead Miraak back in time and now all of Tamriel may have to pay for my mistakes. There was silence between us after that. I had to prepare for anything now, no more mess ups, I had to make things right. I looked at the Heir of the Ruby Throne, he looked tired, the warm glow of the fire seemed to make the dark circles under his eyes stand out even more. I wondered what I could do... I felt overwhelmed from my thoughts, for now I suppose training Martin in the way of the voice would have to do. I peeled myself away from the chair.

"I will see you later tonight." I told him before leaving.

I trudged to the sleeping barracks downstairs. I made my way to my bedroll and sat down, it was still early, but I figured if I was going to be taking Martin to find out about Ilazki's whereabouts I should be well rested.

I thought about what to do about Miraak. I needed to stop his plans, but somehow, I couldn't seem to handle the mere thought of his death. I felt useless, I couldn't even slay him the first time... Although then it was for different reasons.

 _I have answers my champion, all you need to do is ask, Dragonborn._

"Ugh! Shut up already!" I covered my face in frustration, I was tired of hearing the daedric prince during my times of doubt.

 _I will be waiting for you, dragonborn._

"I said, shut up!" I shouted, burying my face into my bedroll. I heard the door open, I assumed it was just someone coming to see what the commotion was about. I looked up at the door with annoyance but instead saw a Seeker. I froze, convincing myself it was simply an illusion but the daedra attacked me, sending one of it's tendrils through my torso. I felt a stinging pain, followed by a twisting pain inside the wound. The seeker grabbed me, pulling me out of the room. I thrashed, trying to slip away from its grip. I managed to rip myself from the daedra and slipped away. These weren't illusions anymore, I saw my opportunity to escape from it into another room, I took the dagger I had from my boot and slashed away.

A familiar pain began to erupt from my core, I lost my balance and fell to the ground shaking as the pain consumed me. Why was this happening? I began to fear what was happening, would this ever stop? Then I saw the same words I had seen at the shrine. I could see them clearly now, hear the words in my head loudly.

 _Ont joor Nu vojoor Ui. Say it dragonborn, then you will have more power_

I resisted it, I couldn't trust him. I could feel something tearing it's way out from inside me.

 _You will die without it. Your mortal body cannot handle the gift I gave you._

What? I felt someone pull me to my feet. I saw the seeker disappear in a black flame. I finally took notice that it was Miraak, he was shouting but I couldn't make out what he said, it sounded distant. I felt the ground rumble, I stumbled but it seems only I felt the ground shaking. I tried to stand again but felt another wave of weakness push me into the ground, I was becoming more and more aware of the cold. I wondered how I would feel when I was at my deathbed.

I felt a pair of arms hoist me up, I half expected it to be Miraak, but it was Martin. He said something to his blades, I didn't catch what it was, but they seemed put their weapons away. They must have seen the seeker as well. I remember smelling something sweet before my vision blurred into darkness.

Later I awoke in a dark room, only a single candle lit the room. I had never been in this room before, I looked around and saw Martin at a desk writing something. The more I looked around the more I realized this must have been his room. It was spacious, and there were red velvet curtains on the windows, spilling onto the floor.

"I see you're finally awake." He said as he continued his writing. I slowly sat up, still dizzy and Martin quickly protested, saying I should be resting. I denied it, I refused to be laying in bed useless. He frowned at this as he began again.

"Jauffre worries that your presence here is leading daedra into this fortress. He thinks it may be best to move you to a city." I nodded at Martin's words, I figured something like this would have happened. Martin continued but what he said caught me off guard.

"If the offer still stands, I would like to go with you to find Ilazki." His tired eyes now held determination.

"I suppose I could help you with that. But, there isn't any need, she is just fine."

"What is it that makes you so sure?" He looked doubtful, I wondered how to tell him for a moment.

"I once had tea with her, and another noble, in Solitude during the dragon crisis. I wasn't exactly invited, but I had a message for her from someone she knew for awhile I guess." I wondered if this would be satisfying enough for him. I still wasn't absolutely positive that she was Sheogorath, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed logical.

Martin seemed a bit surprised but smiled as he looked away in thought. I wondered if he would have had the same peaceful look if I had said she was the madgod himself. I decided to keep this information private. He didn't need to know all the details.

"Well if you want to find her still, my offer still stands." I said.

"I would like that very much." He smiled, it was so genuine, I wasn't sure I had ever seen him smile in such a way. It seemed so unusual, but, I'm sure before Kvatch he smiled like that often. It seemed everyone here had a reason to smile, even during a crisis. This seem to jog another memory, a short one.

 _"I do not appreciate being used as a pack mule every time you are asked to delve into these catacombs." Miraak complained. I laughed and smiled at his disgruntled expression._

 _"With how much you've been frowning, you might start to actually look your age, old man." I jested. Miraak was not amused._

 _"You should be focusing on finding a way to banish our link to Hermaeus Mora, not these little favors. All these extra things you find will only be thrown into a room in your house to never be used anyway. Why do you insist on hoarding such things?"_

 _"Maybe I'll use it one day, you never know. Besides, maybe you'll find something you like this time." I said confidently. He looked at me doubtful but didn't continue on with the conversation. I felt a sense of peace that I hadn't felt in awhile._

I was surprised at this memory, I felt conflicted again, what exactly were Miraak's intentions now? My thoughts went to the shout Hermaeus was showing me, was that the reason Miraak survived in apocrypha for so long? Or was it simply that time was at a standstill in his realm? I needed answers but this meant I would have to trust him.

I stubbornly got out of bed and made my way out of the room, trying not to stumble. Martin didn't seem to protest, perhaps he knew better by now. I stumbled through the dark hallway and descended down the stairs. I lost my footing towards the bottom and fell down hard. I let out a groan as I pulled myself up again. The dizziness made me feel light, as if each step was labored yet soft.

I finally made it to the dining hall, it was dark except for a single lit candle in the middle of the room. Another memory assaulted my mind.

 _The scent of ink and roses was in the air, the room was dimly lit by a few candles on the center of my desk. The sunlight that filtered in was waning as it set behind the mountains. I had a quill feather in my hand and I could hear Miraak's endless lecture on the importance of Dovahzul. Ugh, why did I need to learn this? No one uses this language but Miraak and of course the dragons. But I had no need to learn this dying language._

 _"My head hurts, I'm obviously never going to get this right, so just give up already!" I complained, frustration getting the better of my as I let my head fall onto the desk._

 _"You will learn Dovahkiin." He said simply. I wished he wasn't so set on this. "Perhaps you just need to listen to Dovahzul more. You lack vergrav" Miraak's words only brought on more frustration. I got up angered, throwing the pages that I had been working on endlessly to the floor._

 _"All I've been doing is trying and trying!" I felt the sting of tears come on, we had been doing this for three months now and I couldn't grasp the language. I felt foolish. I turned away to avoid letting him see my pitiful tears. My hands were shaking with defeat, I expected him to mock me, call me a child. But he didn't, he pulled me into his arms, he said nothing, the warmth of his body was welcoming, I began to shiver at the realization of how cold I was in comparison._

 _"Gir vahdiin, drem daar lor."His tone seemed to lull me into a strange sense of equanimity. I didn't quite understand the full meaning of his sentence. But I remembered 'drem' meant calm...I stayed in his arms, inhaling the scent of him as he continued to speak in dovahzul. I recognized a few words, simple ones. I felt my face warm as I felt his hand lift up my chin to look up at him. I still hadn't told him how I felt, that whenever he did this, I felt a strong urge to kiss him instead of listen to his words of advice. He only did this when I was distraught, there was no other time where he expressed such gentle mannerisms. Though that's all they were, his face never showed concern and his voice held a monotonic tone._

 _"We shall continue where we left off tomorrow, for now, it would be best if you cleared your mind." even without a gentle tone and his blank expression, I felt my body tense and my thoughts ran wild with fantasies of capturing his soft lips with my own._

 _Then without thinking, I pulled myself up onto my tiptoes and took advantage of our proximity and did just as my thoughts craved. For a moment I felt him tense before I realized what I had done. It was much to late to take it back now and I froze. What am I doing? Before I could pull away, I felt his arm snake around my waist and with his other hand, he grabbed one of my own. He stared at me with curiosity and something else I couldn't decipher. My heart raced and my face tingled with embarrassment._

 _"My Thane, The Jarl wishes-" I heard Lydia walk into the study, as if my embarrassment couldn't get any worse, she cleared her throat and quickly apologized and left the room. I broke away from Miraak, "Wait!" I went to see what news she had from the Jarl._

 **A/N:** I'm halfway done with the next chapter so that should be posted in a few days. I hope you all liked this chapter! And as always, thank you for the reviews! It's always nice to know that you're enjoying my story.

 _Ont joor Nu vojoor Ui (Once mortal, now immortal)_

 _vergrav (effort)_

 _Gir vahdiin, drem daar lor (listen woman, calm these thoughts)_

 _Losei (are you)_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The small flame flickered, the dim light barely lighting the dining hall. The only thing clear was the wax that spilled from the flame. I looked away from the candle, leaning against a table for support. It was confusing having these memories and feelings flooding back after knowing what I saw in those pages... I wasn't sure what to believe, I know daedra should not be trusted... But I cant just let that information be cast aside just yet... If I do take Martin to find Ilazki, I would have to take Miraak as well, simply to keep an eye on him.

"Dovahkiin, you should be resting." That tantalizing voiceof his brought my attention back to reality. I felt my face warm as the memory was still fresh in my mind. I tried to recompose myself and stood up. I couldn't keep letting myself react in such a way, I had plans to foil, this was no time for a childish infatuation.

"So I've heard." With new found strength I made my way to the sack of apples in the corner of the room, my head was still swimming but I refused to show weakness. I was careful with my movements as I took an apple and sat in a chair far away from him. I couldn't keep up the charade if I kept standing, but I hated being at the same table as him. I heard him walk over to me, I kept a watchful eye on him as he took a seat next too me. He put his hand over my forehead, the mere contact made me freeze in place. I stared at him confused and as he pulled his hand away he gave me an irritable look.

"You still have a fever, you shouldn't be so reckless."

"I am fine." I scoffed, it was strangely comforting to see him. My mind felt numb as the room swayed with each of my movements. My attention went back to the single candlelight flame as I tried to keep myself from feeling like the room was spinning.

"Why didn't you turn back when you discovered it was Hermaeus Mora's Shrine?" He asked suddenly. I was caught off guard and froze. Did he hear what I was telling Martin earlier? We weren't exactly alone in the main hall. It was a possibility. Ugh, me and my big mouth.

I looked down at the half eaten apple in my hand, how should I answer that?

"What does it matter? I can not change what I've done. I simply have to deal with it." I said curtly, thinking back to that moment. Why did I let my anger get the best of me then? I sighed, how could I have been so stupid! I discarded the unfinished apple in my hand with a frustrated sigh as I lost interest in eating.

 _It was simple mortal, fate brought you back to my shrine. Why do you still question it?_

"Shut up already!" I shouted as I stood up from my seat, surprising Miraak with my outburst. I excused myself and left, acting as if I hadn't just done that. I made my way outside, angered. How dare Hermaeus suggest it was fate, it was clearly a trap and he manipulated the situation to his favor. A simple trick. I needed some fresh air. I looked around as I stepped outside, expecting to see something from Mora but there was nothing but snow. I could see my warm breath in the cold air.

 _How could I have tricked you, when you willingly came to the shrine?_

I put my hand over my head, pain erupting from it as his words echoed through my mind. I lost my balance and fell onto the soft snow, the soft powder sticking to my clothes. I felt cold seep in through my thin clothes and I began to shiver, I looked up to see green skies for a moment. My breathing hitched in my throat, for a moment I thought I was back in Apocrypha, but the night sky came back into view and the cold winds reminded me of where I was.

I heard the door open behind me, Miraak had come to investigate, his brow furrowed into confusion. I looked away from him, I didn't need him to see that outburst. I was beginning to have trouble hiding these occurrences from anyone, so why should I keep hiding them?

"What's going on?" He caught sight of me on the ground and sat down beside me, pulling me into him as he arranged the fur he was wearing to cover both of us. Frustration was eating away at me as it was. I huffed in annoyance.

"What does it matter to you anyway. This doesn't pertain to you and is probably unimportant information anyway."

"Do not be difficult with me." He warned. I rolled my eyes and let myself lean into him.

"I'm hallucinating." I stated curtly.

"...Earlier, one of Mora's servants came to attack you, why? What is going on?"

"Hermaeus clearly wants me to commit myself to him and I have declined. So he's bothering me in hopes of changing my mind, I suppose." Saying it out loud, it all seems ridiculous now. I should be able to shrug this off effortlessly, yet here I am struggling. Some dragonborn I was, I couldn't even solve my own problems. "I'm always in pain from it." I admitted, I hated that I let that piece of information out. It seemed to spike Miraak's curiosity.

"Do you happen to know why?"

"So you're interrogating me now?" I accused, looking at him with dismay. I wasn't ready to admit that part out loud yet, but how long did I have? A few days? A year? Minutes perhaps?

"I am trying to help you." He was beginning to lose his patience with me.

"I don't need your help, I can figure this out-"

"Stop this nonsense already. It's irksome-"

"Why should I open up to you when you clearly don't want to have anything to do with me?!" My frustration pouring out with each word. I pulled myself away from his warmth and sent him a glare. "Every time I ask you of what you've remembered, you tell me it's nothing important. I know you've seen something by now, perhaps even more than what I've seen yet you've deemed it unimportant!" My whole body shook with anger and exhaustion, when had I began to have so much trouble breathing. Miraak seemed shocked at my outburst but it was quickly covered by annoyance and he took my hand as I tried to walk away.

"Astra." His tone was low and dangerous, it was the first time I had heard him say my name, I froze. I didn't turn around, I simply stood there waiting for him to react further. He gently pulled me over to him, I could see the annoyance in his eyes and something else as his features began to soften a bit. I started to question his actions now, why wasn't he arguing back? Fighting me on my childish behavior? Then I thought about all the times I had an outburst around him, his reactions were always so minor and controlled... I began to feel uneasy and watched his every move with caution.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he placed his hand over my forehead again. I felt weak, I wasn't sure how I had even exerted so much energy, my outbursts were never exhausting.

"You're getting worse." He said grimly, I wasn't sure what he was even talking about, then he had the audacity to pick me up and take me inside. I was too weak to protest so I settled for a glare.

He laid me down on my bedroll, before going to the shelf and picking up a potion. I eyed him warily as he came back, well wasn't this a familiar situation. He knelt down beside me and helped me sit up. I looked over at him with distrust and he seemed amused by this, he let out a soft laugh before he spoke.

"I will not be as forceful this time." He said before he handed me the health potion,I looked at it before taking it, it seemed to smell like any other health potion. I slowly began to drink it, the familiar distasteful sensation that came from the potion was enough for me to trust what he gave me, this time around. I started to chug the thing as fast as I could, the taste was not exactly very pleasant. When I finished I handed it back to him with a grimace on my face. I felt a bit better, but I was still weak. I let myself slid closer to Miraak as he shifted to support me better.

"What was your real intentions when you decided we should back to the 3rd era?"

"Coming here, was your idea Dovahkiin."

"Don't lie to me, I saw those pages you wrote!" I pulled away from his welcoming arms seething. How dare he continue to lie to me.

"Pages?"

"Your journal, Hermaeus showed me the pages in that stupid journal you were so obsessed with. Admit it, you intended to absorb the souls of each dragonborn you came across, that's why you were so insistent on those ingredients!" I accused. Miraak seemed amused at my outrage for a moment before it melted away into a blank expression.

"So you have been seeing Hermaeus Mora still..."

"Don't change the subject!" I glared.

"I will admit that was my first intention when I agreed to come back, but this isn't the first time we've traveled here." He said calmly. I was confused now, what did he mean by that? "You were just as upset the first time you discovered my plans, but then it was much too late."

"I'm not following?" I was confused, what did he mean 'the first time?'

"How much do you remember?" He asked suddenly.

"The only things I have recalled are... From our days in Skyrim." Was this a trick?

"But nothing after?" He inquired. I simply shook my head, I didn't trust him, this seemed too convenient. "Do you still have that burn scar on your leg?"

"Is this another one of your tricks?" I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him. He unexpectedly pulled a dagger out from his robes and pulled me to him. I inhaled sharply as he brought it down to my leg with such speed, I expected to feel something but I felt was a gently graze and the sound of something ripping. I looked down alerted and noticed the burn scar he was referring to. I thought about it again, I hadn't noticed it before but it didn't seem unfamiliar either. Like I had always had it, but I couldn't remember when it was from... This had to be a trick. He had admitted to me what his plans were. Why was I listening to his lies?! I pushed him away and stood up angered.

"I'm done with your elaborate lies!"

"Astra..." I froze at the mention of my name again, he looked at me with the same concerned expression from my memories. I felt conflicted again, why was he making this so hard? I felt a suffocating pain in my throat.

 _Don't let him deceive you dragonborn. Say the words, and you will be strong enough to kill the traitor._

Why didn't anything make sense anymore? The pain was starting to become overwhelming, bringing me down to my knees. If I let myself die like this, I wouldn't be able to stop Miraak... But then...

The memory of what I would become came to mind, would I be under his complete control if I accepted this? If I killed Miraak would I... I shook the thoughts from my head and tried to calm myself. I still had a choice, I didn't need to listen to him. I could solve this problem without condemning myself to a daedra... But... Why was it so hard to simply forget what I felt about him.

I felt my eyes heat up as I realized Miraak was trying to get me to focus, his hand gently holding my face to meet his gaze as he spoke urgently. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks and I quickly pulled away from him, not daring to show him anymore weakness than I already had... Perhaps Martin was right, I couldn't figure this out alone anymore. I had to hear everything from Miraak, no matter how far fetched it seemed. I needed answers, none of this would make sense without them.

"Do you remember how exactly we escaped Apocrypha?" My voice wavered, I hated it. I was dragonborn, I shouldn't be in tears over this.

 **A/N:** Okay I'm just gonna end this chapter here, I was gonna have this chapter longer but I decided to save everything for the next chapter so I can sort out a few things easier without having all of you waiting for an update. I'm not sure if this chapter came out confusing, it makes sense to me but I'm the only one who actually knows whats going on here haha so feel free to ask if something doesn't make sense and I will fix it, if it needs fixing. If it doesn't it'll be answered later in the story.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 _The green skies above seemed to grow darker as he turned to me and held me by the throat gain, bringing me down to the floor once more as he readied another spell in his other hand._

 _"You disappoint me dragonborn, I was hoping you would be more of a challenge." He teased. His arrogant tone was irritating but he seemed more melancholy now, almost regretful, maybe he simply couldn't see another way to be freed. An idea popped into my head, I conjured magic into my hands and grabbed him, I already knew the calming spell I could conjure was weak, but maybe..._

 _"Gol Hah Dov!" I didn't expect this one to work, but it seemed to have some effect, his grip loosened for a moment and the concentration on his spell faltered. I forced out the shout again with more force and continued casting the calming spell to help sway him. I shuddered in pain as I kept trying to make him submit to my will. By the time he did, I fell to the floor. My body burned and felt as if I would come undone, I depleted my magicka and I was sure another shout would tear me to pieces. Miraak simply stood there, staring. This would be my only chance to kill him, I needed to do this fast, I didn't have to much time... So why was I stalling? I took out my dagger but hesitated, I swear, my curiosity came at the worst of times._

 _"What was your intentions with that temple of yours?" I knew that somewhere it would lead to his return to Tamriel, but I had no idea what his intentions were. I didn't expect him to answer me, but he seemed docile now and looked down at me with simple amusement._

 _"My goal? I simply yearn for my freedom." His voice was filled with regret. I couldn't help but think of all the other priests I had come across that left their daedric lords for a divine in hopes of escaping the fate their daedric prince had for them. I struggled with myself for a moment, if I could somehow get him to agree to my terms, I could help him as I did the others. From what it seemed like, Hermaeus only wanted to replace him with me anyway and I had no intentions of following a daedra._

 _Soon a tentacle wrapped around Miraak, breaking him from the trance I had him under. I quickly followed and when I saw the other tentacle appear I attacked it, cutting it in half, the small end writhed on the floor and I attacked the other that held Miraak. He fell from Hermaeus Mora's hold and the daedric prince fumed._

 _"You dare defy me dragonborn!" His voice was outraged and he appeared before us as a mass of writhing tentacles and an eye in the center. Seekers were summoned and attacked, Miraak defended himself and I was thrown to the grown and another tentacle went through me, I let out an agonizing cry. I forced myself up after he discarded me to the floor, perhaps expecting me to lie there and bleed to death because of how weakened I was at this point. I saw Miraak was surrounded and also having trouble, I forced out my magicka to heal myself as best I could, but it didn't really help much._

 _We needed to leave now, I ran over to Miraak, avoiding the Seekers, I grabbed him by the arm and forced him along with me behind a tower of books. He protested as I pulled him along._

 _"Shut up if you want to live." I threatened, he was very amused by this, seeing as how I was the one with the most injuries. Pulling out the black book from my pack, I shoved him into the book as it shone with a green light, as we were pulled in I heard Hermaeus Mora's laughter._

 _When I opened my eyes again, I noticed the calm blue skies above me. I felt relieve wash over me before I felt pain, and a voice._

 _"You will not escape my grasps dragonborn."_

 _I looked over to see Miraak was unconscious, I forced my aching body to get up. I wasn't sure what I should expect when he woke. I looked around, we weren't anywhere near his temple, I wasn't really sure where we were. I looked down at myself, I was in a growing puddle of my own blood. I took out some leather I had been saving to make armor. I balled it up and placed it over the wound and used A belt to secure it._

 _I heard Miraak stir beside me and he began to wake up, he seemed confused as he looked around, Solstheim must have looked completely different from when he last saw it. Once he noticed my presence he tensed for a moment, staring. At least, I think that's what he was doing. I couldn't tell with his mask over his face._

 _"I got you out." I offered a small smile, I had to admit, this was a bit intimidating. He wasn't really responsive, he simply got up and began to look around, completely ignoring me. I wiped the smile from my face as I felt my short temper make itself known._

 _"You're welcome." I scoffed, he turned to look down at me, I made sure my irritation with him was clear._

 _"I did not ask for your help to escape." He stated. I forced myself to stand as I glared at him._

 _"You could at least lie about being grateful, you bastard!" I felt my body protest and my head was spinning. My irritation quickly fading into nausea. I started walking away, trying not to show how weak I really was. He said something in dragon, I stopped and looked at him unamused._

 _"I don't know what you're saying, and I don't care to know." Before I could continue to walk away he began to say how shameful it was that I, a dragonborn, didn't know Dovahzul._

 _"Yes yes, Alduin has already scolded me about this. Are you done?" I tried to brush him off but this seemed to offend him, I was slightly amused by this, but I felt myself getting worse. Miraak, said something but I didn't comprehend what it was._

My eyes shot open, I looked around to see I was in the infirmary again. What? I peeled myself from the bed, the room was empty but I could hear arguing voices, it sounded like Jauffre and... I didn't recognize the other voice right away. I took a moment to steel myself before I carefully got up. I felt dull body pains and the room seemed to sway as I slowly made my way to the door, finding my travel sack by the door. Before opening the door open I recognized the second voice. Miraak? I quietly cracked the door open to listen in.

"We cannot put our focus on this right now, we need to stop the Mythic Dawn and light the dragonfires! If she is luring more daedra here we cannot keep her here for Martin's safety." Jauffre seemed exasperated, how long had they been arguing?

"If he is as weak as you make him out to be, perhaps it is best that he does not become emperor then." Miraak's tone was harsh. I opened the door a bit more to see where they were, I could see their shadows down one end of the hallway, they continued to argue and their shadows correlating gestures of displeasure. I decided to go down the opposite way and came across Martin, he had a potion of health in his hand, he seemed surprised to see me awake. The loud arguing down the hall was not unnoticed, he frowned as he glanced down the hall, his attention went back to me and he offered a quick smile as he handed me the potion.

"You should be resting." He said simply.

"Probably." I agreed before consuming the awful potion. I didn't seem to be much better, but I didn't say anything. I didn't want to worry about that at the moment. "Lets go outside." I said nonchalantly as I went passed him. I heard his soft footsteps follow me.

Once we were outside I looked around, there were a few Blades training outside. I lead Martin quietly behind the stables, he was confused but as he about to ask I quietly shushed him. He wasn't very amused by this and his confusion only grew. He caught on quickly though, he realized we were avoiding catching the sights of the blades and once we were down the steps he quietly asked where we were going.

"We're going to look for Ilazki."

"Are you insane? Leaving as you are, you will only get worse."

"Even if I rest I will only get worse, unless I submit to Hermaeus Mora."

"What do you mean by that?" He asked with concern laced in his voice.

"Honestly the details aren't that important. Just uhm... Don't worry about it for now."

"How am I not to-" I quickly put my hand over his mouth as I heard a blade shouting, saying we were not in the compound. They sure noticed quickly, I pulled Martin along in a sprint until we made it into some trees, the trees weren't very close together and there was no snow coming down to cover our tracks. I wanted to get farther but at this point I needed to call Durnehviir. I had us come out into a clearing before summoning the dragon.

The dark portal appeared before us and Durnehviir appeared. Before I could explain anything Durnehviir spoke.

"Dovahkiin, do not expect me to always do as you ask, I am not here to serve you in Ohdahviing's place." Durnehviir then lowered his head waiting for me to climbt5fvbbt5fv 5fv bt5fvI hesitated a moment before quickly shoving Martin forward to climb onto the dragon first. I grabbed a hold of his horned as I hoisted myself in front of Martin, I felt him grip his arms around me nervously as Durnehviir began to ascend.

I lead the dragon south, Cyrodiil was littered with gates to Oblivion. I almost didn't catch the odd looking gate, I guided the dragon down. I thanked him but Durnehviir didn't say anything to me this time, the darkness consumed him before he had the chance to even fly off again.

"Now that we're not so close to Cloud Ruler Temple, why don't we stop in the city that's down this road. I would have gotten us closer but... Well you know." I said awkwardly, I felt so out of place, looking around at the vast plains, I wondered if I should have thought this through a bit more. I wondered if it was a good idea to leave Miraak alone, I couldn't exactly trust him but if he was able to influence the blades, things could end up very bad for me. Especially since it would be quite easy for him to say I kidnapped Martin...

We soon made it to a city called Bravil, it seemed fairly quiet, I caught a few conversations on the way but I paid them no mind as we made our way to an Inn. I had Martin take a seat to wait as I asked the inn keeper if she had seen Ilazki.

"I'm not sure I've seen anyone with that description." The inn keeper said disinterested. I looked at the Orc unconvinced.

"She's the Hero of Kvatch. Are you sure you haven't seen her?" I persisted, his face seemed to change to recognition at that.

"Oh her, yes, I think I do recall seeing her. She was headed into an oblivion gate nearby last I spoke to her. It's been about three weeks since then, if she made it back out, she didn't come back here." His tone seemed to seep from chirpy to grim as he spoke. I simply nodded and thanked him, I collected Martin on my way out, I wondered where she could be? Passing through here, perhaps she was making her way up to the fortress? Perhaps I should ask the guards about it.

"Was she here?" Martin asked anxiously.

"She was here a few weeks ago." I didn't know if I should tell him more, he seemed a bit relieved to hear she was still around, somewhere.

"Do you think perhaps she was on her way to Cloud Ruler?"

"It's a possibility..." I trailed off. "The innkeeper said she was, going to close an Oblivion gate when she left."

"I didn't see any around when we arrived." He stated.

"I'm going to keep-" I stopped mid sentence when I heard a familiar whispering. I looked around confused and I saw a Statue not far from us, a Bosmer elf standing in front of it in prayer. I furrowed my brow as I looked up at the statue, was that thing talking?

"Astra?" Martin's voice broke me from my distraction. He seemed concerned, I brushed it off quickly.

"We need to keep moving." I heard the voice again.

 _Listener..._

I looked back at the statue again, I told Martin to stay put as I went over to the statue curious and stood next to the bosmer who looked over at me surprised. I looked over at him and back at the statue.

"So, whats this statue of?" I asked, the bosmer simply scowled and stated how he was too busy as he walked away. Well, wasn't that nice of him. I rolled my eyes and looked up at the statue unamused. This was stupid. I inwardly groaned, then I heard a pained shout. I quickly looked to Martin, he was fine but also alarmed. I followed his gaze to the bosmer that was standing next to me mere seconds ago. I quickly ran over to him, an arrow was sticking out of the side of his neck. A figure in black leather armor came forward with an ebony dagger. As they brought the dagger down I impulsively put my hand forward to catch their arm. I recognized the armor, the distinct hand on the armor, they were from the Dark Brotherhood. I glanced over at Martin, he seemed okay, a bit startled but fine. I focused on the assassin in front of me.

"Stand aside, and perhaps I will spare you."

"I really doubt that." I chirped as I pushed them away and drew my weapon, they were much faster than I anticipated and I felt a sharp pain, but it wasn't from their dagger. I dropped my Akaviri blade and fell down to my knees. My vision blurred and my hands shook, I had already lost my chance to get the upper hand with a sword, so I did the first thing that came to mind.

"Fus!" The assassin was knocked back, the hood fell, revealing a young man with sable locks. I forced myself up and went to the bosmer. He was dying and honestly he probably wouldn't be making it anyway. I quickly pulled the arrow out and began to heal him as best I could. I heard fast footsteps coming towards me. I looked just in time to see Martin intercept the assassin. I scowled, I was making a mess of things. I abandoned my task and pulled Martin out of harms way just in time, I caught their piercing emerald gaze.

"Stop!" That familiar voice caught my attention. I dared take my attention off the assassin to a see someone in black robes coming towards us in a rush. It was Lucien, but he was alive, not some spectral being, but flesh. His attention was on the Bosmer who wasn't moving anymore, maybe he was only unconscious? I wasn't sure, he was probably dead. Martin was still on the ground behind me.

Lucien went over to the bosmer to check if he was alive, he sent a glare to the assassin. I looked over at him and pushed him away, I helped Martin up, he wore a puzzled expression, I wasn't sure what had transpired, but this was their business. Not mine.

"Let's go." I said quietly to Martin, I glanced back at both of the assassins, Lucien watched with cold eyes but the other assassin pointed their dagger at me and told me I should expect him later for interference, my attention was on the familiar dagger in their hand. The Blade of Woe.

"Oh no, what ever will I do." I said flatly as I rolled my eyes. Martin looked at me with warning, I simply pulled him along and I looked at Lucien.

"I'll see you later." I said with a vague sad smile. Before anyone could ask anymore questions I walked away quickly, Martin following behind in a rush. I led us to the nearest Tavern and I ordered a bottle of mead. Martin seemed overtly worried as we sat there, as if nothing had happened.

"Are you insane? What was that back there?!" He whispered harshly.

"I was trying to save someone who was destined to die, what did it look like?" I said as I took a drink of my mead.

"That's not what-"

"Calm down Martin. They have their own problems to sort out, I'm sure." Martin quieted but didn't seem to agree, I offered him some mead but he quickly declined before I had even finished the question. I looked down at the table in deep thought. That bosmer was most likely the current Listener. That voice I heard coming from the statue, didn't Cicero once mention that was once the Night Mother's resting place? It could have been a coincidence but... That assassin and then Lucien showing up and seeming upset at the Bosmer's death... Was that little assassin that Mathieu Lucien always mentioned?

"Do you think I could have saved that Bosmer if I hadn't pulled you out of the way?" I asked Martin. He seemed a bit caught off guard at my question.

"Perhaps, a wound like that, I'm not even sure if I could have saved him."

"So, no matter what he would have died anyway?" I asked. He looked at me with worry.

"Astra, is this why you came here to drink? Guilt?"

"It's not guilt." I looked down at the table. "I could care less about that rude little bosmer." I retorted. Martin seemed unconvinced but seemed to go along with it anyway and asked.

"Then what is it?" I got up without finishing my mead.

"We should look for other clues on where to find Ilazki." I waited for Martin to follow and we went on out way out of the city as we passed the stables I saw Shadowmere amongst the other horses, I stopped and stared at the horse for a moment before walking over to him. He had no recognition of me but I smiled at him anyway and rubbed his neck. The familiarity off it all seemed so comforting, I made sure to even get his favorite spot on his shoulder.

"It was nice seeing you again Shadowmere..." I said quietly before leaving, I held myself together well on the outside. But all I could think of was that vision of myself I had, wearing Odahviing like... Was that the only choice I had if I chose to live? I suppose if I chose death I'd be free to go to Sovngarde but if what Miraak said is true and this is the second time I've come back, what did I do to come back? Am I tied to another daedric prince if I die? The same? Or... Is it to Sovngarde? What was the right choice?

 **A/N:** okay so it's been awhile since my last update. My bad, life kinda happened but it seems like I finally have time again so yay! Expect more soon


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